Flame

A little light burning

in the darkest night

waiting patently

for that one gentle

breeze of hope

to turn the night to day

the chains to a blade

 

Those who have tried

to kill this little spark

only to strengthen its

determination for success

its claws are ready

for the new day

Reviews

[forLOVEforLOSS]

I really enjoyed the word choice in thie poem.

By the first line i could picture a small and delicate flame,

The only critic that i have of this piece is that the line,

"the chains to a blade"

almost confused the reader at first.

The second time reading it through, however, it is more clear.

Just some food for thought!

Keep up the awesome work,

~forLOVEforLOSS~

[Laylani Mullane]

The second stanza is defiently my favorite of the two because you're basically saying that this little flame can and will stand up to anything that comes its way and I really like that message. The word choice was beautiful and the flow was smooth. Very good job.

[The Lady Anasteja]

The first few lines are beautifully written. It so touched me i've added it as a favorite.

[Natalie C]

Oh wow yes such determination, I just shines through as your reader works their way down to end, where you leave us with a hope for a better day.

Liked the short yet powerful word choice, just seemed to put some emphasis on the littleness yet greatness of that little flame.

Wonderfully done!

[Adela Muresan]

Beautiful.
I liked the first strophe very much � abstract and pleasurable, but the second was a little disappointing. You should have found a more indirect way of expressing its power of defense; but it's still good lolz.

A.M.

[The Tao of Bri]

Perserver...survivor....the indomitable will....EXCELLENT!