Brown Eyes Lie

I'll never see brown eyes the same

not since my gaze met yours

they no longer seem sweet to me,

but sour to the core 

I cannot love them into rhymes

because they haunt my sleep

I could see your brown eyes shine

while my brown eyes would weep 

Your loving eyes sure had me fooled,

my heart they would divide

when you said "I don't feel the same"

I learned brown eyes could lie

- lr

Reviews

[emipoemi]

Apart from the fact that "longer" in Line 3 (if your intention was to have a distinct rhythm) landed on the wrong syLABle, this is so good. The flow, the message, the ending - absolute brilliance! Well done!

[Lexi Richard]

Just tweaked it a bit, thank you!

[emipoemi]

the "longer" is still landing wrong.....it works in another way, but if your intention is to have a set rhythm, put "no longer" after "seem". That would work.