Quiet Panic

Another something about my boy who isn't mine anymore.

I was at school. It was a normal day. I was walking around by myself as I usually do, thinking about a million different things, including him of course. I haven't seen him at all that day, which is unusual, because I see him quite often. 

I assumed he wasn't at school. 

My head hurts.

 My heart hurts.

I walk past a group of my old friends.

They turn to look at me as I walk by, looking at me like I was some kind of bug. I keep my head down and keep walking. 

Away from them, away from my problems. I got to my spot at the lockers, and sit with my back to them. I pull a snack from my backpack and start eating, keeping my head down and keeping to myself. 

Thats when I see him. There he is, walking towards me.

Wait.

Walking towards me?

Holy hell he is walking towards me. 

I begin to panic, pushing my snack back into my backpack and zipping it up before he reaches me. 

He stops in front of me and looks down at me. 

"Hey can I talk to you?" He asks, nervously rubbing his arm and looking at my shoes.

His voice.

His voice that sounds like heaven to my ears. 

I nod sharply, not speaking, and he finally looks at me, putting out a hand to help me up. 

I reach out and grab his hand, and my skin heats up as we make contact. 

He watches me. 

His beautiful eyes are on me as I pull my backpack onto my shoulder.

My "friends" are staring at me again. They all have their heads turned in our direction, watching as my boy takes my hand in his again. 

"Do they bother you a lot?" He asks, looking over his shoulder at them, and makes a face when he turns back around. 

I nod again.

He shakes his head sadly. 

He takes my hand and pulls me in another direction, rubbing his thumb softly against my hand as we walked. 

He leads me to a quieter area of the first floor; a set of lockers in the back of the hallways. 

I still don't speak, because I'm scared of my voice cracking. 

"I can change that if you'd like." I look up at him, tilting my head because of his height. 

He doesn't take his eyes off me, no matter how many people walk by. I shrug, casting my eyes towards the floor. 

The eye contact is making me nervous. He moves closer to me, and my backpack slips off my shoulder, and falls to the floor. 

I step back. 

He steps closer. 

I step back.

My back hits the lockers behind me and I begin to panic. My heart rate picks up and my palms begin to sweat.

He's close.

So unbelievably close.

He maintains eye contact and moves closer again. 

And I can do nothing but watch him. 

My insides scream to move away, but I can't, because of how close he is, but my heart urges me to move closer. 

So I just do nothing. 

"Can I try something?"  he mutters, taking ahold of my arm and pulling me somehow closer. 

I nod swiftly and look up at him. 

A smirk is on his face, and my heart beats so fast it hurts. 

I might have a heart attack.

He puts his hand on my shoulder, and before I can react, he connects our lips. My body stiffens and he puts his hands on my hips, and squeezes, then pulls my hips flush against his.  

I relax, and begin to kiss him back, intertwining my fingers in his hair.

A noise at the back of his throat indicate pleasure, and somehow, he pulls our bodies closer.

The bell rings. 

His head snaps up and he looks around, seemingly dazed. 

"Well, I guess we should get to class, huh," he says, smiling at me with that smile that makes my whole body melt. 

"Yeah, I guess you're right," I mutter. 

Without another word, he turns and walks away. 

I stand there, completely stunned. 

I watch his back as he walks away, unsure of what is going to happen in the future between us. 

I might be in love with this boy.