Funny-1

Funny-1

A Story by Linda Stinson Wells
"

Jokes taken from various television shows that I record. I write them down to share with my friends.

"

I heard about this teenager that just got his driver's license. He

asked his father about maybe getting a car. The father said son I will make a deal with you. If you will read the Bible every day, bring your grades up and cut your hair. The son came back a month later and asked about the deal they had agreed upon. His father said well you read the Bible everyday, you brought your grades up. But you still haven't cut your hair. But dad, I've been thinking about it. Moses had long hair,Samson had long hair, Jesus had long hair. Yes son and they walked everywhere they went.



I heard about this senior citizen that was driving down the freeway doing 80 mph in his brand new corvette. He saw some flashing red lights. Behind him was a State Trooper. Not thinking about it he floored it and got up to 100 mph. When he heard the sirens he pulled over. He said to the officer, "I do not know what I was thinking." The state trooper said, "it is Friday and my shift ends in thirty minutes. If you can tell me a reason why you were speeding that I have not ever heard before I will let you go." The man thought about it and said, " years ago my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back." The officer said, " Have a great weekend."



I heard about these three men that were out in the wilderness when they came upon this violent raging river and they needed to get to the other side. One guy prayed please God give me the strength to make it across. Puff, God gave him big arms and strong legs. He was able to swim across the river in two hours. The next guy prayed to God to give me the strength and the tools to make it across. Puff, God gave him a boat. And he was able to row across in thirty minutes. The next one prayed and said God  gave me the strength, the tools and the smarts to make it across the river. Puff, God made him a woman. She looked down at the map, walked five minutes down the path and walked across the bridge.



I heard about this preacher who had been bear hunting all day long. He searched and searched with no sign of a bear. Finally he put down his rifle and went to the stream to cool off. About that time he saw this huge grizzly bear running full speed toward him. He was about 100 yards away. The preacher fell to his knees and said, "God, I need divine protection. Please convert this bear to a christian. Right then the bear froze in his tracks and he lifted his paws toward heaven. The bear said thank you Lord for the meal I am about to eat.

LSW

© 2022 Linda Stinson Wells


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Reviews

Love your humour. They all made me smile. The first one though is the one I enjoyed.most.

Chris

Posted 6 Months Ago


Linda Stinson Wells

6 Months Ago

Yes Chris that is my favorite one also. I have so many to type and post. Right now I am working on a.. read more
Chris Shaw

6 Months Ago

Looking forward to reading nany more Linda.
I got a chuckle out of all of these! I think I like #2 and #3 the best. Great funnies! Thank you for sharing. Temp

Posted 7 Months Ago


These are so funny; I especially liked the 1st one.

Posted 7 Months Ago


Linda Stinson Wells

7 Months Ago

I still have many more. I just have not typed them up yet. I will let you know when I do. Right now .. read more
JE Falcon

7 Months Ago

Thanks! I like funny.
Christian puns!! Loved the last one and the first. Never mess with parents 🤣

Posted 7 Months Ago


Linda Stinson Wells

7 Months Ago

Thank you Mr Supernova_thoughts, your review was short but very true. Hope you are having a great ti.. read more
supernova_thoughts

7 Months Ago

Thanks, Linda.
I am Ms. Supernove_thoughts.
I really enjoyed reading this.
Haha i loved reading these! Theyre all so funny. My favourite one is the first joke, they all walked everywhere... they didnt have cars, so if the son wants a car then he should cut his hair or else he would have to walk everywhere. Thanks for sharing!!

Posted 7 Months Ago


Linda Stinson Wells

7 Months Ago

Hello my new friend. I am very happy that you enjoyed the "Funny's" I have more to come soon.
Aura

7 Months Ago

I can't wait!
Linda Stinson Wells

7 Months Ago

I will be posting some more funny in a few days.
Very funny it may flow better with some quotation marks but I liked as ur its

Posted 8 Months Ago


Linda Stinson Wells

8 Months Ago

Thanks for the review my new friend. Hope you stay in touch. You were quick to respond. I like that... read more
Ranger Kessel

8 Months Ago

Thanks and your welcome. Don't be afraid to make friends
Linda Stinson Wells

7 Months Ago

I will be posting more funnys within the next few days.
they were all great
hard to pick a winner but I think no.2 just barely edged the others

Posted 8 Months Ago


Quite clever and humorous. Liked especially the one about the old man in the corvette.

Posted 8 Months Ago


You made me smile.. four times!

Posted 8 Months Ago


Linda Stinson Wells

7 Months Ago

I will be posting some more funnys in the next few days.
It is a whole lot of "I heard about" I have many more to add, but it will take me time. I have Parkinson's and I shake a lot. Plus I am in the process of moving.

Posted 8 Months Ago



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Added on May 28, 2022
Last Updated on July 28, 2022
Tags: jokes, funny, religion, hilarious