A Day to Remember

A Day to Remember

A Poem by Linear
"

A day most go through

"
It had to come
The day I had dreaded for so long
I helped you pack your bag
You were leaving
My heart was bleeding

Trying to hide my tears
You looked so very beautiful standing there
There were tears in your eyes too
But you were being brave

How the years had flown by
It seemed like only yesterday
I first held you in my arms
Kissed you tenderly
Fell in love with you, I still am, always will be

Your fragrance enraptured me
Held me in your spell
You are divine

And now you are leaving me
Alone and desolate
Walking off into strange new worlds
To places you never dreamed
Making new friends

You looked back as you walked away
I saw the tears fall from your eyes
I hope you didn't see mine
It broke my heart to say goodbye




On this your very first day of school

© 2011 Linear


Author's Note

Linear
Redone, hope you like it :O)

My Review

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Featured Review

Pretty good actually. I like it, but if I may bring up a few spelling mistakes that could be easily fixed, "defencless" should be spelled "defenceless." Also, though it's not exactly necessary, "tear drops" could be one word. There was a missing period in between "mine" and "but" on the third to last line, and perhaps a semicolon might belong in between "sight" and "held" on the fourth to last line.
Great poem though, I give it a 94%, and if not for the typos, I would give it 98%. I don't think it's 'poor' as you say in the author's note. Great work Linear.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I love it!
I have a little nephew who would be joining kindergarten soon and just knowing that he would not be running around the house or pressing esc as I type my story, makes me feel sad and I won't cry too, thanks for the poem. keep writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Loved it. Keep writing! :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


Oh...this brought tears to my eyes too just reading it.
My Dad took me to my first day of school. I'm not
if he cried from that or the tight grip I had on his leg.
Very tender poem!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You got me. I didn't see that ending coming. Really nice write. That gut wrenching feeling that parents have seeing their kids off to school for the very first time soon fades though doesn't it! I hated getting the covers thrown off me in the morning!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oh my,
i love it!
it has a beautiful imagery .
and beautiful thoughts behind it!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is ever so beuatiful and so touching.
I really enjoyed this piece from you.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oh my...this brought tears in my eyes. Very heartfelt, very wonderful! I am not a parent yet but I can feel and deeply understand what this piece is all about, how a father feels when his angel finally learns to fly :) this is simply amazing! I could read this a thousand times :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Beautiful. So heartfelt, and I'm sure so many will relate to this so much.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I had tears in my eyes. Reminds me so much of the first day my mom dropped me off at school. I didn't wanna get out of the car and I cried so hard I choked. *sigh* After reading this it suddenly doesn't feel like it was so long ago

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1345 Views
37 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on November 8, 2010
Last Updated on March 30, 2011
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Author

Linear
Linear

United Kingdom



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