A Day to Remember

A day most go through

It had to come
The day I had dreaded for so long
I helped you pack your bag
You were leaving
My heart was bleeding

Trying to hide my tears
You looked so very beautiful standing there
There were tears in your eyes too
But you were being brave

How the years had flown by
It seemed like only yesterday
I first held you in my arms
Kissed you tenderly
Fell in love with you, I still am, always will be

Your fragrance enraptured me
Held me in your spell
You are divine

And now you are leaving me
Alone and desolate
Walking off into strange new worlds
To places you never dreamed
Making new friends

You looked back as you walked away
I saw the tears fall from your eyes
I hope you didn't see mine
It broke my heart to say goodbye




On this your very first day of school

Author's Note

Redone, hope you like it :O)

Reviews

[Drake Ryder]

Pretty good actually. I like it, but if I may bring up a few spelling mistakes that could be easily fixed, "defencless" should be spelled "defenceless." Also, though it's not exactly necessary, "tear drops" could be one word. There was a missing period in between "mine" and "but" on the third to last line, and perhaps a semicolon might belong in between "sight" and "held" on the fourth to last line.
Great poem though, I give it a 94%, and if not for the typos, I would give it 98%. I don't think it's 'poor' as you say in the author's note. Great work Linear.

[FaithfullyJennyBear]

aww that's so cute :L

[Ladysue]

oh I remember feeling this way...such a bittersweet moment...this flowed with great sentiment..wonderful...

[Lindsey]

I liked it a lot. Most people do face this but it's very interesting to read.

[HopelesslyDevoted]

i did like it, very interesting

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

what a sweet rendering of the bittersweet moment when we have no choice but to permit our little ones to begin to stretch their wings for eventual flight~

[Art]

nice work on bringing this into such a visual effect through poetry...

[Graceful]

It's so good! and the picture is so cute!

[MuSe Ampoule]

aww...how sweet, even if it's not the original.

It's like one big run-on sentence. I took that as representing just how fluid and fast life can go with kids.

It's like...you have a baby....then the next day it seems they're running through the pre-school door! Before you know it they'll be flippin you off as they run off to high school. Ahhh youth!

[Coyote Poetry]

I know this feeling. I took four children to school and drop them off with strangers. I was one of many standing and watching our babies taking their first step into life. I felt the same way at my youngest 9th grade introduction. My kids were getting older and soon a new journey for us parent. A excellent poem.
Coyote