A Day to Remember

A day most go through

It had come, that day i knew would have to come I helped you pack your bag You were leaving, my heart was breaking trying so hard to hide my tears You looked so very beautiful pure, innocent and chaste defencless alone standing there so brave how the years had flown it seemed like just yesterday we met and i loved you at first sight held you close your fragrance enraptured me, in a spell so divine i knew that you were mine But now you were leaving me alone and desolate walking into strange new worlds places you had never dreamed You looked back, i could see the tear drops in your eyes as the door closed, this your very first day of school

Author's Note

Lost my original
this is a poor rendition

Reviews

[Drake Ryder]

Pretty good actually. I like it, but if I may bring up a few spelling mistakes that could be easily fixed, "defencless" should be spelled "defenceless." Also, though it's not exactly necessary, "tear drops" could be one word. There was a missing period in between "mine" and "but" on the third to last line, and perhaps a semicolon might belong in between "sight" and "held" on the fourth to last line.
Great poem though, I give it a 94%, and if not for the typos, I would give it 98%. I don't think it's 'poor' as you say in the author's note. Great work Linear.

[dora]

I love it!
I have a little nephew who would be joining kindergarten soon and just knowing that he would not be running around the house or pressing esc as I type my story, makes me feel sad and I won't cry too, thanks for the poem. keep writing

[Day Dreamer]

Loved it. Keep writing! :)

[Marie Harrison]

Oh...this brought tears to my eyes too just reading it.
My Dad took me to my first day of school. I'm not
if he cried from that or the tight grip I had on his leg.
Very tender poem!

[Fenner]

You got me. I didn't see that ending coming. Really nice write. That gut wrenching feeling that parents have seeing their kids off to school for the very first time soon fades though doesn't it! I hated getting the covers thrown off me in the morning!

[Black]

Oh my,
i love it!
it has a beautiful imagery .
and beautiful thoughts behind it!

[.......]

This is ever so beuatiful and so touching.
I really enjoyed this piece from you.

[iamkim]

Oh my...this brought tears in my eyes. Very heartfelt, very wonderful! I am not a parent yet but I can feel and deeply understand what this piece is all about, how a father feels when his angel finally learns to fly :) this is simply amazing! I could read this a thousand times :)

[JanieB]

Beautiful. So heartfelt, and I'm sure so many will relate to this so much.

[lifesmith]

I had tears in my eyes. Reminds me so much of the first day my mom dropped me off at school. I didn't wanna get out of the car and I cried so hard I choked. *sigh* After reading this it suddenly doesn't feel like it was so long ago