It's been a long time coming

An old poem revamped

When in the translation of emotions all feeling is lost When the wolf howls out of distress and flowers no longer bloom Where will you be? When days are long and the nights longer still and the moon no longer shines, so darkness envelopes you like a shroud Where will you be? And you hear the plaintive wail of a mothers cry for a lost or abandoned child and all the rivers have run into dried out seas Where will you be? Then at long times lasting, you turn your eyes to me to that vacant spot where you thought i would be then i wonder where will you be? When transgressions wear you down, and all hope has fled and mortality stares at you from that empty place Where do you think i will be?

Reviews

[Inkcognito]

Wonderful write - I ask these same questions over and over again!
"When in the translation of emotions all feeling is lost" A trend that seems to happening all too often. We misunderstand the intentions of the other, which leads to a breakdown in comprehension, communication and the subsequent drift between people, signalling the inevitable, slow but sure demise of a once perfectly great relationship. Tragic really...

[realmwriter]

Very well said. Death will come for us all. I kow where I will be, Where will you be? I love it!

[lifesmith]

this made me do quite a lot of self reflection

[sarah]

This is a really captivating write! Sounds sorta like Christ's return

[Kiri Nells]

Impressively done!
Don't forget to clean things up. Drafts are great (especially for a peer-edit site), but you have to be sure that there aren't too many obvious grammar mistakes before posting. A lot of people will stop reading because it bugs them so much. It doesn't matter so much to ME at the moment, but do try to do a little editing.

[Dewella~Vintella]

This was very well done, I loved the repetition, it leads the piece on and captures you from the beginning. This reminds me of a moment with one of my characters.

Something like a love hate relationship, taking someone for granted yet you know they are there for you, but your not really there for them...and then the moment comes when you realize what your actions cost you, think that person is there for you, and finding out they are not.

Great job,

Vinny~

[SINDE]

NICE! I think your diction is on top because they are able to convey the sentiment in this unique piece. Plus most of us can relate to it.
And you hear the plaintive wail of a mother's cry for a lost or abandoned child...

[iamkim]

Very creative! Such a genius work! Good job!

[Ladysue]

so thought-provoking...wow...very powerful writing...a impeccable flow with great thoughts...good work..

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

I will be here for them as you will-

Chloe