City Life

imagery....i think :)

The birds’ feet tap the earth below

The leaves whistle through the air as they fall down soft and slow

The cars’ tires screech to a stop

Moments before the balloon bursts. Pop!

The babies’ giggling fills the air

The bell rings louder as the bike get near

Reviews

[livelovewrite]

it was a class assignment so i wasn't dying to make it longer :)

[alesuriko]

Well... not really an onomatopoeia because although you thoroughly describe sound, you only use 3 words that are onomatopoeia words "tap," "screech" and "pop!" (you're close with rings but it wouldn't be plural for an onomatopoeia). Good use of them though. The imagery is wonderful in this short little poem, you can see everything and hear everything that you described. I liked the pluralization of birds, leaves, cars, and babies... not sure why though. Maybe it emphasized the sounds of the poem by creating the aspect in your imagination that there are more than a single car screeching or a single baby giggling. Really brings it to life. Nicely done.

[Livenrite]

Nice...but make it longer it doesn't have the finishing feel:)