What I'm Thankful For

What I'm Thankful For

A Poem by Livenrite

Lying in the sun, I'm thankful for...
The green grass that taught me
It is always greener on my side
The roses that never fail to show me
Thorns always come with its beauty
The small hummingbird that told me
A song can bring peace to the mind
The bees and flowers who represent
That you can find friendship anywhere
The blue sky's clarity and generosity
Allowing clouds to invade and make a storm
And the rain never fails to give life
To all the things that I'm thankful for

© 2010 Livenrite


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LL
Nicely written with artistic beauty. Great job!

Posted 9 Years Ago


This is a good way of looking at things, there is honesty here, which leads to a scalability of the self in comparison to the world around.

Posted 9 Years Ago


And the rain never fails to give life
To all the things that I'm thankful for

we all thankful who give this all and a art with this we can praise, and by you very beautifully praise and express. Love this, thanks

Posted 10 Years Ago


i would say it is full of the philosophy of life!
and it has been crafted in a decent manner...

Posted 10 Years Ago


This is so clean and honest, and is like a song to my favorite season: spring. I can almost imagine the grass covered in morning dew.

Posted 10 Years Ago


"A song can bring peace to the mind

The bees and flowers who represent

That you can find friendship anywhere

The blue sky's clarity and generosity"
A splendid read and write...:)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Beautiful! I loved it!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Simple and flashed with beauty and tender loving prose wording, very well written.

Posted 12 Years Ago


BEAUTIFUL INSIGHT INTO A BUDDING MIND.yOU HAVE A FRESH LOOK ON GIVING THANKS

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is a very good poem, remember that. Yes i agree that a rhyming scheme could only help this poem. While reading it the flow and structure just seemed to suggest that there should be one and it was a bit weird when there wasn't. If you do add more then only add two or three since this poem's strenght comes from its subtle simplicity. In fact you could probably remove "The blue sky's clarity and generosity
Allowing clouds to invade and make a storm" since to me it doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the poem (not the theme, just too many syllables) and if you don't want to completely remove it in revised version then maybe make it simpler by removing either clarity or generosity. Whatevery you add or change make sure
"And the rain never fails to give life
To all the things that I'm thankful for"
stays at the end. I love it.
(All this is based on only one read through and so could be completely wrong)
Well done on this and keep writing for the good of all those who love poetry.

Posted 13 Years Ago



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787 Views
19 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on May 13, 2010
Last Updated on May 16, 2010

Author

Livenrite
Livenrite

Brooklyn, NY



About
I am Lieba B.W. and this site is my sanctuary:) Love being a part of this writing community and I hope you enjoy my work:) Cheers! more..

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