Drugged up Love

Drugged up Love

A Story by Olivia Ashley

I fell in love once, with a boy who loved to party every night and to do every drug you could think of. When we first met we were both drugged up and drunk but I will tell you this he was the only thing in the room that wasn't blurry to me. We started partying more together and it was all innocent at first until that one night at my house party in my bedroom where I let him see me at my most vulnerable time but he made me feel so comfortable and I don't know if it was the drugs but it was the most magically moment of my life. That's when I realized that I had feelings for this boy which scared me because I had a fear of caring for people because I knew they would eventually leave just like my father did. But I took the risk of opening my heart and letting down the wall that I worked so hard to keep up. I started skipping school to see him, sneaking out to make out in his car and maybe a little more. Sex was our way of expressing our care for eachother, well it was. Soon the sex stopped becoming as special as it used to be and it started becoming him just using me for it. He started acting so differently like he didn't want me anymore. He didn't even want people to know we were hanging out. Our midnight make out sessions turned into midnight arguments where he would tell me that no will love me and that I'm worthless and where I would sit and cry my eyes out. Things turned completely upside down and instead of laying in bed smiling from the happiness he provided me, I laid in bed with sad music playing and me crying until I fell asleep. I didn't leave my room for days because I was too depressed to even face my family or friends and i didn't want to put my problems on their shoulders. While I was in my room crying 24/7 he was out with other girls treating them like queens while he treated me like a slave he could control. He then soon later started f*****g with my mind, every time I felt a little better or started getting over him he would message me saying " I need to see you" or "I miss you and I want this to work" and I would believe him because I still believed he was still the guy I fell for at that party but he wasn't. Everytime we would hang he would ask for sex and I would give him it because I didn't want to lose him again and once he got what he wanted he would leave me in the dirt. My sadness started to become rage, I started punching things and screaming until my throat burned. I lterally felt like I was physically in pain and going insane. I'm still not over it to this day, I still cry in the shower every once in a while. Will this pain ever go away?

© 2015 Olivia Ashley

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Added on May 18, 2015
Last Updated on May 18, 2015


Olivia Ashley
Olivia Ashley

Bikini Bottom, VA

a depressed stoner trying to make it through more..