I don't want to grow up

I’m scared of growing up. I’m scared of growing older. I’m scared of not being pretty anymore. I don’t want to get ugly and old and have trouble moving around and have a boring life where I don’t do anything. I don’t want to watch my children grow up not caring about me and having their own families and not caring and not understanding. I don’t want to watch the love of my life die at a young age and have to live without him for the rest of my life. I don’t want to watch him die at an old death and have to live without him for the rest of my life. I don’t want to not be able to do all the things I love. I don’t want to grow up confused, not knowing what to do. I don’t want to grow up, knowing that I only have a few years left before everything happens. Before I’m supposed to get married and have children and have a stable job and live in a house with a white picket fence and be just like every other person. It’s scary. I don’t want to be old. I don’t want to be sitting in a rocking chair, watching life go by and others grow up. To some, the cycle is inspirational, but to me it’s depressing. Life is so short, what’s the point of making anything out of it? All it is is pain and hurt and a little love here and there that don’t make much worth it. It’s hard, and painful, and there’s not much to look forward to, and then when it comes it’s disappointing, and then everything sucks again. 

I don’t want to grow up.

Reviews

[Mark D]

I liked the writing and honesty in it.... I think being content with life is not a gift for the young. This describes well the thoughts of a young person who has not found their way in life yet. I just hope it is not too literal