The Way That I Love

My Soulmate must be patient, because at times I will convince them that I don't love them and I don't want them and I don't give a flying f**k about them. I won't make anything easy for you. I'll make falling for me easy. I'll make myself seem pretty and understanding and sexy and caring and sweet and clever and ambitious and adorable and goofy and beautiful. And then as soon as I feel you falling, BAM!! This huge force of secrets, doubts, and ugly, disgusting feelings will be shoved into your face and you will be forced to deal with them. It'll be too late, because you will already love me, but you will have to spend the relationship dodging my blows, my insensitivity, maneuvering through my stubbornness. You will learn to dislike yourself every time you say something that I decide is hurtful. I will make you feel bad about yourself. I will oppose you sometimes, just because I'm in a bad mood. Maybe not even because of you. And at times I will despise you, just because you are not the way that I imagined, and for some reason, I will believe that that is your fault. And that's not all. I will not go down in a fight. I will not give in, because "I love you" and it doesn't matter. Everything matters to me. Every little thing that gets in the way of our relationship is something that I will analyze to the core and tell you "it's not okay," and if you fight with me, I will fight back. I won't give you sympathy comments, I won't give you excuses, I won't put up with bullshit, I'll call you out on it. I'll make you feel like an idiot. But if you can look through that, if you can get over the horrible s**t that i will inevitably put you through, if you can get past my doubts, criticisms, and scorn, you will know bliss. My heart is larger than the world. I love everyone I know and everyone I will never know. I don't believe in bad people, I believe in hurt people, in lost people, in broken people. I only try to be everything anyone could want. I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE. No, I'm that that retarded guy trying to be nice. I f*****g know what it means. I've been there, I've needed people, my Life has been saved. I will always be there. I understand the importance of that statement and what it entails. When you need me, I will never ignore you. I will forget everything I have against you. Nothing will matter except being there for you and helping. You don't EVER worry about that with me. Your problems will become my problems. I spend my life researching and analyzing my problems and solving them. When I love someone, I take over your problems. I will probably end up doing more to fix your problems than you will. I want to untangle you and show you the beautiful way that I see you. Mirrors show you yourself backwards. I will show you what you look like forwards. If you're depressed, if you have body image issues, if you have anxiety or emotional issues, they are not barricades when being in a relationship with me. I don't see you as less of a person because of them. Whether you like it or not, I will take them into my hands and develop an obsession with untangling your knots. I never regret people. I will never stop caring about you, I will never wish I never met you, or wish I didn't love you, or ever stop loving you. My love never ends. I will always welcome you back into my life. I will always want you there. Even if things don't work out between us, I will still always want you.