A Chapter by Lizardo

So, I want to know your thoughts on this one


I was 5 years old when Orion’s comet pass through earth’s atmosphere, as a matter of fact, I was staring at it out through window.

I was sitting down on my dad’s lap as the comet spread its nine tales of colors making the dark sky illuminate with a mixture of colors: Blue, green, yellow, purple, white, red, orange, silver, and gold.

 San Francisco had stopped working for a long amount of time as the people working would go out their shops to contemplate the celestial event.

The T.V from our apartment was spreading out the news from all over the world on the news channel, as the scenes constantly changed from people in different places of earth, contemplating the comet as it shone through the sky.

My dad told me at that time that there was an old story behind the comet and it’s beautiful colorful nine tales, it was said that every one million years, Orion’s comet would pass touching earth’s atmosphere symbolizing a new era of change and happiness for the world, and although that sounded really cool and all, it didn’t stopped what happened next.

I was too young to understand the calamity of the situation, but I do remember hearing a booming sound a few miles away from Downtown San Francisco, and the next thing I know, my dad is caring me out of the apartment with a bag full of clothes and organic food to the car. Then there it was again, another booming sound that sent San Francisco into a state of fear as people begun to scream on the streets and started to run in riots all over the place.

Then I saw it, a big ball of fire shot a few meters away from our car, shooting our car like a catapult to from the parking slot to a few blocks away from us, the ground shook and started to crack and pieces, as if an earthquake was happening at that moment.

Lamp posts and trees were either flying in midair or being sucked down by the open cracks of the ground, houses were burning with fire, and I could see some people risking their lives to save some of their stuff.

My dad started to run as fast as he could, as the fire balls were shooting from the sky, but the comet, the comet was still there, skiing in our skies with such beauty that for a moment, I couldn’t hear the screams of the people or the sound of the buildings clashing down on earth, I just concentrated on the comet.

The lights went out through the whole city, with our car destroyed by the big ball of fire, where could I and my dad go?

Chaos ruled all over the land. But what grabbed my attention were the big airplanes flying through the sky, shooting balls of fire, my dad covered me with a white-blue blanket the covered my face.

“We’re going to be fine Son” My dad said in a hurry, trying to catch its breath from all the running he had done.

“We’re going to be fine”

I could smell smoke, I could see the light of the burning buildings, and although my face was covered I still could see something.

I heard my dad say something that seemed random for me at that moment

“Thor control must’ve have been high jacked”

He ran to what seem ages, the screams of the people begun to fade in the distance and the burning buildings too.

Then the next thing I know, I was on a truck, my face was uncovered and all I could see was the saddened-angry face of my dad, he seemed very concerned as well as the other adult who was driving the car.

We were passing through a bridge and to be more precisely, The Golden Gate Bridge, a lot of cars were passing by ours at a high speed, and I could see why, because when I turned my eyes to the city, it was in ruins, as skyscrapers of smoke flew in the air, fire was consuming everything.

I felt scared, lonely, but a hug from my dad fixed it all in seconds.

© 2015 Lizardo

Author's Note

So what do you think?

My Review

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that must have been really scary

this phenomenon seems like a mixture of an earthquake and a comet to be honest
the description used was great, it really brought the scenario to life

you really struck your audience with a sense of awe and wonder with this Lizardo
and all from a semi first person POV

awesome job


Posted 7 Years Ago

It is pretty cool for a prologue. I'm interested, want to read more before I can say anything specific about the story, but I can say that it's gonna be awesome. I like the way you take the reader into the story world, thrilling experience reading this. 100 points.

Posted 7 Years Ago

0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It was exciting :) you'd describe every scene with a bam and give me thrill :) And as for the perspective of a young child, you did a great job. going to look forward to this one :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


7 Years Ago

Thanks Cladine! :) I really appreciate it and yes, maybe I'll have Chapter 1 on today :)
Interesting. I'll be reading if you keep writing :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


7 Years Ago

Of course I will keep writing! haha, thanks Danny, I really appreciate it :)

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4 Reviews
Added on August 5, 2015
Last Updated on August 5, 2015
Tags: Teen, adventure




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