Meeting the Ocean

Meeting the Ocean

A Poem by the in between
"

I wrote this when I was 10 at Camp Keep

"

The sun is north,

The water is west,

The air is east,

And the south is soil.

 

The beach is so cold

and very old.

It reminds me

of a sunny day

when I start to feel funny.

 

I get so dandy

when it is sandy.

I am going to miss

that big blue ocean

because it is so peacful.

© 2010 the in between


Author's Note

the in between
haha please don't be too hard on me

My Review

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Featured Review

I like the last stanza in this poem. I love the ocean and have only seen it once in my life time but it is quite amazing. This poem is detailed but for me it lacked a little sparkle. the flow is off the the description is quite amazing. I am sure if you take a look at it later on then you could add to it making it shine.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

:D Exquisitely executed rhyming...it is something that I seldom have the patience to accomplish...and what You do with north, south, east, and west is awesome :)The ocean is peaceful...it almost sings with the force of its waves :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


I agree with you. I spend six years living by the sea. 3 years on both coastlines with the army. You are correct. Ocean is the best way to find peace. A excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love your poetry

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like the last stanza in this poem. I love the ocean and have only seen it once in my life time but it is quite amazing. This poem is detailed but for me it lacked a little sparkle. the flow is off the the description is quite amazing. I am sure if you take a look at it later on then you could add to it making it shine.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

relaxing and peaceful, althought simple its strong

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this is the present version of the dover beach, a great write and perfectly blended choice of word. the imagery is stunningly beautiful. The beautiful blue water gives me peace.

thanks sweetie for sharing this.
Great write indeed.
Keep on writing.
I got to learn lessons from you.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Being a fan of the ocean, I quite like this. The first four lines capture the moment really well, I can definitely picture myself standing on the beach as I read it. Good poem. :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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TAO
Quaint...

You know, all of the times I met the ocean, I left with a migraine and a very salty taste in my mouth... It helps to know how to swim, I think, rather than allowing the ocean to play puppet master while you try to figure out how to become a real boy...

Simplistic and quaint. Well done, Ms.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Good job you had a way with literature at a young age

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The legs are first,
The breasts is next,
The eyes are beast,
And the lips are best.

Your hand to hold
and our love to unfold.
It reminds me
of a lovely girl
when I start to feel high.

I get so randy
when your lips taste of candy.
I am going to miss
that big blue butt.


OH YES. YES YES YES.
i am bored.

i am already ruining your life lol

Posted 11 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on August 6, 2010
Last Updated on August 9, 2010

Author

the in between
the in between

unknown, CA



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