"Memories of a Chalk"

"Sonnet 1"

Silhouettes fade as summer draws near

Yearning for their presence in this barren room

Rippling sounds of one's laughter cause me to tear

Awakens this reverie like scent perfume

The vastness I never thought existed

Past the hallways where we've spent our youth

Smiles of the little ones thus recollected

Pictures from the bulletins show love and truth

Just as my heart, the red apple sits quietly

Treasuring the bond of our love so pure

The hugs, fights, celebration and anxieties

Carves the path to grow and mature

Oh darlings, it pains me to say goodbye

So please keep this chalk to remember me by.

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'Memeories of a Chalk'
L.C.Jarrette,
Memories living on within the heart radiates through this writing. "
Silhouettes fade as summer draws near." first line.
This sets the mood of remnants, traces of the real within the heart not easily erased.
Phrases you have used, very defining...
"barren room, rippling s sounds of one's laughter, reverie like scent perfume."
"hallways where we've spent our youth , pictures from the bulletins show love and truth"
'red apple sits quietly, please keep this chalk to remember me by."
Your poem is the soul's heart still holding the dear experience of children learning and
the joys of teaching them.
blessings,
Kathy

[Merovech]

Childhood memories, revived from ages past
Now dwell in front of me
What has time done, and I done with time?

Very, very moving, very well put.

[Elizabeth]

Great poem! it has a tinge of wistfulness which makes the reader want to cry!!
"Oh darlings, it pains me to say goodbye
So please keep this chalk to remember me by."

[L.C. Jarrette]

wistfulness! yes! that's exactly the word.thank you very much!

[Elizabeth]

You're welcome

[Eliazar]

This is really moving. You really know how to express yourself!

[L.C. Jarrette]

thank you eliazar...

[Chris]

School "daze" and memories... as each began to become who they are.

[L.C. Jarrette]

hello sir..i'm so happy you read my poem. thank you very much.
:)

[William Liston]

This is an enjoyable sonnet. It doesn't follow the iambic pentameter of the traditional form, but nevertheless, I see this as a more loose, modern adaptation.
What I love most about this piece is how true-to-heart it seems. You pay a lot of attention to the little details like the "red apple," the "pictures from the bulletins," and (most notably) the chalk that the speaker wishes to be remembered by. You also keep your message clear and concise despite the requirements of the form. For that, bravo!

Your rhymes, grammar, and syntax are mostly spot-on, but I didn't like the rhyme of "formed" with "mature" in the third stanza; since I pronouce mature as "maCHER" and not "maCHORE," those words didn't sound remotely similar. Also, the second line is grammatically incorrect: "Rippling *sounds* of *one's* laughter."

- William Liston

[L.C. Jarrette]

wow, thanks a lot! i love honest comments..
and thank you for your corrections. i'll edit it right away. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing use of words and thoughts.
"The vastness I never thought existed
Past the hallways where we've spent our youth
Smiles of the little ones thus recollected
Pictures from the bulletins show love and truth"
The above lines. Perfect and realistic. I enjoyed the complete poem and thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[L.C. Jarrette]

thank you sir, very much...

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome. A outstanding poem.

[Raven Moonchild]

(wipes away tear) This poem is beautiful, my friend. :)

[L.C. Jarrette]

thank you my friend...

[L.C. Jarrette]

okay, this will be my
Sonnet 1