A normal day.

It was the middle of the night when Elias heard his father climb up the steps, and he knew what was coming. His father threw a bottle at the wall, and when it hit it had shattered. The sound of glass hitting the floor was all that could be heard in the deafening silence. He knew this was not good, then in that second his father backhanded him across the face. He then proceeded to punch Elias in the ribs and jaw with a closed fist. Elias did not fight back he just covered his face the best he could. His father was more than twice his size, while Elias was small for a boy his age. This went on for about twenty-five minutes before his father passed out on top of him. Elias pushes his father off and onto the cold wooden floor. He walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, his left eye was swollen and turning purple. His jaw had a few cuts and bruises but he'd had worse. His nose was bleeding as was his mouth, and he had a gash on his forehead, as well as a fat and broken lip. Elias grabbed a rag and turned on the cold water he wetted it and started to wipe the blood from his mouth. He cleaned up then started thinking of an excuse to tell his teachers tomorrow. He had used so many over the years that he has run out of them. It took him a while to come up with some new ones. He started to read his school books as he had nothing else to do and there were no other books in the house. There were no movies and the TV only had two channels. He had no toys, all he had was school work to keep him distracted. He read until sunrise and then packed up his books and headed off to school before his father woke up. Elias walked to school every day and had taken the same route for years. Down the road, through the alley, and across the bridge, under the tracks and around the woods then straight on to school. He had taken this path every day since he started school and always made it there. It was like every other school, it was nice and had two floors as well as two gyms. Elias walked to his home room and sat in the back left corner of the class, like always. He sat under the fan in the shadows, and the teacher asked him how he got the marks and he said "Oh I was in the woods climbing a tree and I fell down. I hit several branches on the way down". She said "Oh okay. Go to the school nurse after classes okay"? "Yes, I shall, I always do Mrs. Tucker," Elias says.

Reviews

[M. Mae Ringquist]

Personally I think that the story has been great so far and am looking forward to reading more. Despite loving story I do think that the fact that the teacher is not suspicious is a little unrealistic. You said he has used excuses for years, well wouldn't that result in suspicion from at least some of the teachers? Despite this I do love the story (Realism is one of my pet peeves, funny coming from a fiction writer.)

[Lord of mad men]

Well, keep reading. This issue of realize has already crossed my mind before I started righting. Trust me I have it all covered in my mind. Yeah, I normally write fiction.

[Wolf_Lord]

Love it... a good start... Looking forward to more... However ,'', ^@@^ ,'', I am going to give you an honest review, please take as such, as I am not criticizing but trying to help. I think you have a lot of talent... So that said It just needs a little filling out. You said he is mature for his age... but that is a little vague... for us to empathize with your character it is better to give age/grade right off the bat so we can visualize. One of the things I do to help myself, is to make a stat sheet on all my characters. IE... Age...origin...features...mode of dress... and personal habits...Neighborhood... Schools. Educational level. Skills. Kind of like the stats on a virtual character...or the old D&D stats as an example... The more stats you accumulate the more real...and consistent your character becomes. Example 5'8 1/2" light complexion, weak chin, prominent nose, brown eyes and hair, bushy eybrows, thin lips, long fingered hands, knobby knees, skinny and gangly, sloppy dresser, mostly hand me down clothes. Likes the color blue. Talks with a slight lisp. Tends to look at ground when talking instead of directly at people. Submissive but with occasional outbreaks of over the top temper. Shy around pretty girls. Has habit of picking nose when he thinks no one is looking. etc. Also I agree with M.mae, that the teachers reaction is off. What the teacher says is fine, but I would interject with some of the teachers thoughts, which should be suspicious. Also, you might interject a little on the personality, background, and personal relationship of the teacher to the antagonist. Lastly... shorten the time that dad beats on him to just a vague 'several minutes that seemed like an eternity to him' The time span you used would pretty much leave him crippled if not dead.
Very good start and I look forward to more.
Wolf ,'', ^@@^ ,'',

[Lord of mad men]

i have seen a lot of teachers that did not really care much about their students life. i know they are to report it by law but sometimes people view hings as they should not get involved. and you have to keep in mind Elias's father is a drunk and has been this way for a long time so even if he had 25 mins he would tire very quickly and his hits will not carry much force after the first few...i was trying to imply that the incident happen for that about of time not the punching itself because i dont know about you but i have never meet a normal guy let alone a drunk who could hit someone repeatedly for longer then ten mins. as for the rest of it i do not want to put a time period on it so its not resticked by things that would not have been invented or common around that time and the rest of it is explained as the read reads. not describing him right away makes the reader picture him in their own way either as them self's or a boy they have seen before making them feel a bit closer to him if that makes sense.

[Wolf_Lord]

It does... yet... maybe insert that attitude of the teacher into the script... and maybe just fill in a few of the blanks... It will make it a better read. Send me a note when you have done it and I will review again if you like. Anthony.... Wolf ,'', ^@@^ ,'',

[Angel of the devil]

i like this. very interesting

[Bear]

Well groomed piece and adds definition to your character and the imagery of the violence is powerful. Well done my friend, Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[Talia Ayers]

This is short, It has meaning, Texture, and somehow a sense of needed love. It's good and I would Love to read more about it.

[Anthony Wayne]

This is an interesting short story. I'd be curious to read more of it. Well done

[ManasaC]

Elias is very mature for his age. I am still not able to figure anything out. I like this mystery of not knowing the graph of the character. I am waiting for more. Keep it up!!!!

[matrixmark]

Good short story and I can see it progressing into a longer one to. Some of your sentences are a little long and need to be tightened up to make them short and punchy.

But after saying that, your work is really good and a solid foundation has been laid down for a this piece to grow and become a a great story to tell. I will for sure read another chapter if you write one out.

Mark.

[Dysphoria]

Please keep writing it. I want to see what happens next.

[LazerRays]

this is good, short but good!!! you really are lord of mad men

[Lord of mad men]

thank you for your kind read and review.