The Red Soil Trail

This is what it felt like to choose between leaving or staying in church. It was daunting, but I'd do it all over again if I could go back. I would always choose to be me.

Not only I have gone down this trail before

She, he, they, ze have traversed its entirety

I know because I saw the tracks

I peeked into it in when I turned twenty

Something inside of me knew...

"I will go through there too"

I set foot into the crimson mud

Unequivocally God forsaken

My feet began to sink

The other footsteps, as well, inches deep

But they went onward

A deeper fear in me had risen

The grass was not greener on the other side

I had to pull myself up to survive

Behind, I left the pews, the communion. the holy ghost, and a chance at Catholic redemption

But I still carried my cross on my back, by my own sinful volition

The splinters penetrated my shoulders, carved my fate, eternal flames

But it was this or slow death

But it was this or being catatonic

But it was this or life passing me by

I stand in the crimson soil

I stand by my choice, a life of toil

Now, I'm further into this trail than I thought I'd be

At this age, the thought of no return is consoling

If I had to, I'd again choose to traverse the Red Soil Trail

Looking over my shoulder, I see my younger self, walking it scared 

Amadeus the Loveless

March 24, 2023

Author's Note

I hope you enjoy reading me, any suggestions are welcome!