Walking Anachronisms

A prose poem about seeing someone from your past and how it would've been best not to see them again at all.

You can't have known me as a child and expect me to believe you when you say you could love me now. I was as green, as anxious, as self-loathing as ever. Was it my naivety you found tender? Is it my willfulness now that makes you hover? A few inches off the ground like we did after all those beers�"years down on our knees, dogs at the altar. Now I stand away, perplexed at someone I thought was my brother. You're in over your head in loneliness and desperation. You're on the hunt for one good thing from the past, what a temptation! But I would never be as reckless as to become a traitor for one mediocre night. It takes no effort from me to do what's right. But I wonder how much effort it takes you. Is it in units of greyer morality or drinks? How long would you think of crossing the line before you?

You and I… we were walking anachronisms. Treading towns that had seen neither of us together. It felt fun to be out of place in a different way that I'm used to. I saw you like sun through a prism. The good hadn't changed, brother. Though a night flower, the bad bloomed.

Alcohol your agent of intimacy, men like you can't talk without it. That leaves nothing to admire. When you see someone like me, expressing what's in their head�"with or without. Do you notice your own drought? How uninspired. Once the night's gone, your words are a myth…

Except that they weren't. You meant the horror you spewed. Don't offer me a love to keep hidden, don't believe for a second I'd downplay my growth. I already loved you platonically and freely. Which is never enough for the desperate men that value others more than themselves. You should get a clue…but I'm much better at being upfront. Can I tell you something?

I will never love you how you want me to.

Amadeus the Loveless

January 29, 2023

Author's Note

This one is more of an unspoken monologue than anything... words I'll never tell but I've thought about over and over. Just in case, the person I'm referring to in this writing is not the same person I'm referring to in my previous poem.

** This is the first prose poem I've ever published online, so any suggestions would be helpful!

Lastly, I hope you enjoy reading me!

Reviews

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Wow there is a lot of emotion in this piece. There is an identifiable tension relatable to every heart in these words. Keep on writing and honing your craft and voice. And always stay true to your art. Nice work. CLE

[Amadeus the Loveless]

This means a lot to me, thank you so much! I will write until my time here is up! :)