ABSENCE NOTE

ABSENCE NOTE

A Poem by lua
"

the occupation of life

"

can I phone in sick

today

pull the sheets back

over my head

let the world

my world

know not to expect my

presence

 

let the birds sing only for

themselves

 

if you find yourself walking amongst

a hum

a muffled tune from within

the tangle of

austere branches, crooked arms

you know

the birds are closed for

the day

 

the sun can hold onto its

warmth

 

if you feel a tickle, a soft spur from the

hairs that so

gently sit up to console the

shiver crawling, rippling down

your back

you know

the sun is out of order for

the day

 

and too, a deep breath can be held by the

wind

 

if your lungs are the only essence

awakening the

still air

a soft

disturbance, humble gesture

you know

the wind has gone home for

the day

 

and you,

you can take the day off too

© 2019 lua


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Loved all the imagery going on, usually I would say it's too much all at once but it's all wrapped up in segmented stanzas that it's sort of rationed. The conceit, too, of all of these ordinary things, personified as entities taking the day off with you is terrific. There are a few things that didn't make an abundance of sense, like birds being "closed for the day". I found myself wanting to know who would come around to fix the sun, and wished it hadn't been referenced twice. I wanted to know where the wind lives. I was also a tad thrown off by the jump in POV from first to second person after the first stanza.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is exactly what goes through my mind while getting ready for school 😂. Lovely writing, Lua!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Loved all the imagery going on, usually I would say it's too much all at once but it's all wrapped up in segmented stanzas that it's sort of rationed. The conceit, too, of all of these ordinary things, personified as entities taking the day off with you is terrific. There are a few things that didn't make an abundance of sense, like birds being "closed for the day". I found myself wanting to know who would come around to fix the sun, and wished it hadn't been referenced twice. I wanted to know where the wind lives. I was also a tad thrown off by the jump in POV from first to second person after the first stanza.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

loved all the poem... so beautiful it is.. speciall:

if you find yourself walking amongst
a hum
a muffled tune from within
the tangle of
austere branches, crooked arms
you know
the birds are closed for
the day

the sun can hold onto its
warmth


really really fascinated me

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

lua

3 Years Ago

thank you, i'm pleased you enjoyed it :)
this write was as soft and delicate as a breeze. Lovely writing lua

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

lua

3 Years Ago

glad you enjoyed reading!
Sometimes it wonderful to just "switch off" and be left with your own thoughts. Then you create something like this witty poem, which emerges from this tranquility.:-)
!


Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

lua

3 Years Ago

haha, thank you :)
I so enjoyed your poem and your writing. I look forward to reading more. You have great depth and a beautiful style.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

lua

3 Years Ago

thank you so much :)
It was beautiful :) i like your work

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

lua

3 Years Ago

thank you :)
I have felt like this many times so I completely related with the wish for nature to be closed for the day so that we can rest too. Beautifully written.
Also thank you so much for your kind review of my poem, much appreciated 😊

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

lua

3 Years Ago

thank you, a rest all round :)
I don't know what to feel when I read this I mean I understand the words and their meaning perfectly but then again I have a distant confusion after a while because I guess I just didn't connect with it as I wish I had, seeing as it's beautifully written and has the aspects of art I feel a bit saddened about it

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emilia  Cole

3 Years Ago

Heh I am sorry arigato and gomen
Lorraine Ciro

3 Years Ago

I enjoyed reading your poems. You have a very fluid style
lua

3 Years Ago

thanks very much :)
Beautiful

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

lua

3 Years Ago

thank you :)

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

756 Views
17 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on January 8, 2017
Last Updated on March 16, 2019

Author

lua
lua

United Kingdom



Writing
WHOLE BEINGS WHOLE BEINGS

A Poem by lua


DIFFERENT WORLDS DIFFERENT WORLDS

A Poem by lua



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..