Sweet Fire Night

This is about last Saturday night, I spent it with my friend at her camper. July 9th, 2011. Edited 27 March, 2014.

The sky was dyed with melting orange sherbet

when we started the fire from the coals of the other.

Sticks and branches danced in spectacular whirls.

Crackle, whoosh, pop of engulfed branch.

It lit up the night,

dark closing around us fended off by

the screaming, delicate flame,

bright the stars hanging over it,

making the constellations we fingered with our memories:

the Big Dipper, Orion, Leo.

Their vibrance was dim after staring into the heart of the fire.

The swinging bench creaked under our weight,

tilted because of uneven ground, one side rubbing its metal supports.

She rest her head on my shoulder.

Even though I was wearing a shirt,

I swear I could feel her smooth skin

against mine.

And even though we were tired,

resting against each other

we continued to smile.

Her mom had colored blocks, worn and unusable from years of play.

As we sacrificed them unto the flames,

they dyed the fire colors, if you looked hard enough, stretched your mind.

The curling crimson of a red rectangle,

A yellow half-circle, smoking dandelion,

The sapphire swirling around a blue square,

The green rhombus flourished into forest pigment,

An orange triangle, tangerine touches to the harsh orange flame.

We laughed and poked them with sticks and tongs,

as they burnt our eyes, and to ashes,

to sweetly glowing embers.

Fireworks exploded,

crack, pop, sparkle.

We jumped from our seat, standing on the picnic table,

afraid it would tip but caught in the explosions

we could barely even see.

I thought it funny�"

an odd time to be lighting fireworks,

with no occasion.

Then I thought, and looked at her and smiled;

perhaps living another day is occasion enough.

Author's Note

Updated for a contest; what do you think?
-Aura

Reviews

[Mason]

The picture and experience you painted here with your words was incredible. I could see the fire with my own eyes and feel its warmth. In a way, you created an artificial feeling of suspense for me as I kept looking for the inspirational message that did not appear until the very end, which in a way matched the way your poem seems to crescendo leading up to the last stanza. It was a delightful surprise and I really enjoyed the the whole experience. Thank you for submitting.

[Aura Inanna]

Thanks so much for the kind review!

[LuLuIcey]

You really had a great time with your friends! I like the image (like Mason said) and well i tried it once too, the whole was fantastic, isn't?

Thanks for submitting and you really had a great time without your phone! I hope my friends will do so...

[Aura Inanna]

Thanks so much! You made an awesome idea for a contest so I'm glad I got to contribute!

[LuLuIcey]

Thanks, it is just the first time starting it~(I just register 10 days ago, I think)

[McKinleyA]

Oh wow, I have to say, this one really was moving. You paint such a vivid picture with few words, and it flows so seamlessly! The emotion beats through each line in such fashion, you can just feel the love, happiness and complacency.
Also,that last bit:
"And I thought it funny
An odd time to be lighting them
With no occasion
But then I thought
And looked at her and smiled
Perhaps living another day is occasion enough"
was the most inspiring thing I've read all day.