blood on the shore

this is a little dark plz review!

                                Blood On The Shore 

                    What do you do when your child's world turns black

                    when your child is vunerable to the attacks?

                    what do you do when your child loses the fight?

                    when they ascend up to the passage of light

                    what do you do when your child hangs from a rope?

                    do you cry? do you weep? do you lose hope?

                    do you live a life of sadness with your heart broke?

                    do you live a life of lies and become a living joke?

                    what will happen i can't say just be ready on that day

                    when the day your world goes black the choice is yours

                    what will yo do when your child's blood washes on the shore?

            

Author's Note

Honestly I didn't like this poem because it focuses on the negative not the positive.
PLEASE REVEIW

Reviews

[egg13]

This is one of that makes you hold your breath until the very last word, I thought it was really strong. Vivid..

[lyricalprince]

thank you egg I really appreciate it

[Scott Mou]

Jesus Antichrist that was dark! (see what I did there) Although I've found that its more difficult to write about the dark well than it is to write the more upbeat poems. This is a great example of Dark poetry done right!

[lyricalprince]

thank you ( and I saw what u did there) I am not happy with this poem cause I get a lot of hate mail on how its "too dark" so right now I am trying to write a positive version of this poem. but thank you for reviewing!