The Corrupt Order

The Corrupt Order

A Poem by Czar Lyrus

A truth hidden by the Vatican that often explodes...


A priest walks down the hall

To a room full of zealous ancients

Clad in white


A young boy shivers in terror

As his mother calls the police

Clad in terror



But the man's a priest!


But it's true.

The child has been hurt,

In a way no person should be.

The old phantoms decree: This man is not one of us!

Let him go away!

But keep the matter silent,

for 'twill tarnish our grand order!


A man walks out

A priest no more

Clad in shame


The mother tries to raise a cry

But she is silenced

By that order that swore to protect her family

Clad in hypocrisy

© 2009 Czar Lyrus

Author's Note

Czar Lyrus
I don't care if I've offended you. Suck it up, and face reality.

My Review

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It's okay. The lack of real form doesn't come off as well done, but as a bit...well....lazy. The poem focuses too much on the political message and not enough on the beauty of the poetry.
These lines really didn't seem to fit very well: "Clad in terror" just seems forced. "What? / But the man's a priest!" really takes away from any poetical beauty and just shoves politic beliefs on to the reader, even though it should be obvious by the end anyways.

I'm not saying the poem is horrible or anything, I like it overall, but it just feels too forced. I understand the issue, the importance of the issue, and your opinion on the issue (or so I believe), but it just seems like you took away from how well it could be done. If you're going to write religious political poetry like this, I would recommend you read some of these:

Also, who would be offended by this? I think the media has already torn this story to shreds....

Posted 14 Years Ago

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1 Review
Added on January 10, 2009
Last Updated on January 13, 2009


Czar Lyrus
Czar Lyrus


Hi! Here, I am simply known as Czar Lyrus Telpeliand. I write in a manner of many different subjects. I am a politcal theorist, a poet, a stroywriter, and an amateur theologian; I am very opinionated.. more..


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