When I was little

When I was little...

I used to sleep on my front,

My side, 

My other side,

Anywhere but on my back.

Simply put, I was afraid of dying.

I had this irrational fear 

That if I fell asleep on my back

I'd wake up dead. 

When I was little I was afraid of dying.

Now that I'm older

I only sleep on my back.

If you'd ask me why 

I'd say

It's comfy, 

I don't know I feel safe,

I just can't seem to sleep any other way. 

When I was little I was afraid of dying.

Now that I'm older

I'm afraid of living. 

I'm afraid that I'm living too fast,

or too slow..

That my living is slipping away

falling through my fingers.

So I dream of dying 

because what is living but dying slowly.

Author's Note

I couldn't go to sleep, thoughts kept drifting through my head so I decided to write them down.