The lead of my
fishing rod slightly dangled back and forth in the dark, cold water, hopelessly
looking for fish. My hands strongly clasped around the black handle. My hands
hurt when I tried to move them. My eyes were staring at a great nothing,
looking for movement in the water. But no fish were coming. Not the fish I was
looking for.
I had been waiting
for hours, if not days, if not weeks, if not forever. To no avail. My only
catch consisted of a few pikes and some seaweed. I even managed to catch a
battered pair of boots, which seemed to have been property of some pirate. Sometimes
I just wondered why I was still trying so hard. Why was I still trying so hard?
“Yes! I got one!” I
heard Henry screaming in happiness. In the corner of my eye I saw a
yellow-coloured fish at the end of his lead, viciously sputtering. But this
fish wasn’t just viciously sputtering, not because it wanted to escape. It
actually looked pleased with his new owner. As if it liked him.
My eyes abruptly
averted themselves from Henry as I noticed some kind of movement at the end of
the lead. Filled with hope, I stared at the water, waiting for something to
happen. Another shock. My heart released a shot of adrenaline, my body was
ready for action. The pain in my hands returned as soon as I clasped my hands
even stronger around the handle, but I ignored the pain. This was the moment.
I lifted my rod,
but as soon as I lifted it out of the water the hopefulness disappeared.
Another pike. My heart was (figuratively) in my boots. I returned to the
sitting position I had got used to already, after hours, if not days, if not
weeks, if not forever. I stared at the still water.
“Don’t be sad,
you’ll get one next time,” I heard Henry saying. I didn’t respond. I felt his
eyes looking for my face, but I didn’t look back.
“Don't wait for
the fish. Let the fish wait for you.” My sadness suddenly disappeared. I
loosened my stranglehold on the handle. I looked at the water. The clear blue
water peacefully moved along with the current, not knowing where it was going.
It didn’t have to know where it was going. Ultimately, it would end up in an
enormous, majestic ocean. It just went wherever the rest was going.
“Let’s go home,
Nick.” That was the last thing Henry said to me before standing up and walking
off. I followed his footsteps, a few metres behind him, without knowing where I
was going. A sound made me glance over my shoulder: the water was moving, as if
it had come back to life.
Thought provoking. Sometimes you have to make the fish come towards you, rather then waiting to catch it with eager eyes and a hopeful mind. A very interesting message you tried to portray here about life, by using the example of fish. Humans strive for so much, run behind so many things in order to achieve them, that he forgets that sometimes you just have to sit down and think for a while rather then following the rat race. Sometimes things work out a bit differently. Even if you work your a*s of, in the end you only get what you deserve. That's the law of nature. But people, never content, continue to run the rat race and in turn wait for the fish that never arrives.
Just my thoughts. ;)
A beautiful story. Thanks for sharing this mate.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you for your kind words, Blackheart, I really appreciate it :)
I share your thoughts on.. read moreThank you for your kind words, Blackheart, I really appreciate it :)
I share your thoughts on this one. Originally, my intention was to describe something slightly different, but a piece of writing doesn't have to contain only one single meaning. It can have multiple meanings :)
Anyways, thank you for your review!
All I could think while reading this was the saying "There's plenty of fish in the sea!" As if catching fish (or people, or anything) is so easy. I always sucked at fishing too, so I feel the frustration. Metaphorically, I can also relate. It's frustrating when other people seem happy and are getting what they want while you sit alone and unable to obtain your desires. Nice story.
I enjoyed the metaphor. The end really speaks to a rebelliousness or individualism in a very subtle way, which is not common. Often writers are very in your face with this type of message. I, too, loved the repetition.
I had been waiting for hours, if not days, if not weeks, if not forever. I love that you repeat this line it is my favorite and captures the feeling of fishing well especially to those who have fished in inactive or slower waters. and I love how you paint this beautiful picture! I love it!!! This is wonderful! I have been inspired by yours and Solar's work to open and close my work with fishermen having a conversation. I think it would be beautiful! Thank you for that, also, i will send you a read request for it, it is an interesting story Solar has written here. And your story reminded me of it! Thanks for the read request, this was wonderful!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
I'm glad you enjoyed it, Zyle, and it's great to have inspired you! :)
Oh wow...the ending just blew me away...I could relate to it in every way,,,its deep and inspiring... you portrayed your message with so much elegance...I enjoyed reading it... great story
I liked your story. It's a pretty mature conclusion, especially when I consider that you're relatively young, that we sometimes simply have to wait and don't have to push it. Guess I still haven't learned that; me being almost thirty now. But I try. But not too hard :). Back to your story: It is well-written and I especially liked that repetition of "after hours, if not days, if not weeks, if not forever."
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you, Bobby, for your kind words :)
Maturity comes in many different forms. What I mean .. read moreThank you, Bobby, for your kind words :)
Maturity comes in many different forms. What I mean by that: everybody has a unique personality and unique properties. It's not that having a certain property makes you mature instantly. Everybody is mature in his own way. Don't bother yourself with trying to wait and not pushing it. It's something you just have to learn. Don't worry :)
Thank you for your beautiful words, it's much appreciated.
Very well written! I like your message. Sometimes you need to go get what you want but other times, just as in fishing, you just need to sit back and be patient and let things come to you. We tend to try too hard in certain situations and when we do, we get frustrated and upset. Things are going to happen the way they are supposed to. We just need to allow it.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Indeed, I go along with you there. Just going with the flow, as the water goes where the current goe.. read moreIndeed, I go along with you there. Just going with the flow, as the water goes where the current goes, sometimes is the best thing we can do. Thank you for your review, Melissa, it's much appreciated :)
I'm with Blackheart on this. To me you've taken the fishing episode to serve as an analogy or allegory or whatever for lessons in life and sometimes striving too hard. It reads very well, so well done indeed.
Just one observation - I have the impression of two teenagers, though you never say so. And in my head, reading it cold, I didn't see or hear the life message coming from Henry - to me, Henry was a better angler, but was still a callow teenager; the life message seemed to come from thin air like some ancient far eastern mystic. I couldn't imagine Henry saying 'Do not' - I had him as more a 'Don't' kinda guy, whereas the mystic might well say 'Do not'. Reading it second time, however, I paused at the part about the yellow fish seeming to like Henry, and realised the life message was from him. Could be about love, career, lots of things that a peer of your age may have a few tips about. It looks as though Nick feels some admiration / envy for Henry, and again I picked that sense up more second time through.
Once again, nice job!
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
First of all, thank you for your feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Now that you mention it.. read moreFirst of all, thank you for your feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Now that you mention it, 'don't' indeed fits better in this situation. I haven't really thought about it before. I think it was just an accident or something that went through when editing. Anyways, I'll adjust it. You're observation was pretty accurate, I have to say.
Thought provoking. Sometimes you have to make the fish come towards you, rather then waiting to catch it with eager eyes and a hopeful mind. A very interesting message you tried to portray here about life, by using the example of fish. Humans strive for so much, run behind so many things in order to achieve them, that he forgets that sometimes you just have to sit down and think for a while rather then following the rat race. Sometimes things work out a bit differently. Even if you work your a*s of, in the end you only get what you deserve. That's the law of nature. But people, never content, continue to run the rat race and in turn wait for the fish that never arrives.
Just my thoughts. ;)
A beautiful story. Thanks for sharing this mate.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you for your kind words, Blackheart, I really appreciate it :)
I share your thoughts on.. read moreThank you for your kind words, Blackheart, I really appreciate it :)
I share your thoughts on this one. Originally, my intention was to describe something slightly different, but a piece of writing doesn't have to contain only one single meaning. It can have multiple meanings :)
Anyways, thank you for your review!
My name is T, I'm 17 years old and I live in the Netherlands, and I want to share my stories with others. I'm in no way a professional writer, I just write what feels good. I'd like feedback from othe.. more..