RAY FROM ACTING CLASS

Raymón went to acting class at this place in the Valley

I called him Ray, it was easier

He was my acting partner

We’d do scenes together

I was better than him

I don’t mean to be an a*****e when I say that

Because everybody was better than him

He was the Private Pyle of the group

And I was like Private Joker

You know, like in that movie Full Metal Jacket

I was looking after him

Trying to make him better

Ray was raised by his grandmother

They used to watch movies together all the time

Ray would watch the movies and dream of being a movie actor one day

He told his grandmother he was going to be a star

Ray didn’t improve much in the acting class

The teacher picked on him a lot

And made Ray feel like he was no good

But Ray hung in there

He wanted to succeed for his grandmother

He wanted to believe that all the work grandmother did

Raising him

And caring for him

Wasn’t done in vain

Ray kept trying to do well in the class

But one day the teacher pulled him aside

And told him he should maybe do something else with his life

The teacher didn’t want to be harsh

But he said some people just have it

And others don’t, no matter how hard they try

He had seen too many people be encouraged to death

So it was best to be honest with the students

Ray said he understood

But he went back to his grandmother’s place in San Pedro

And he got very depressed

He was very hard on himself

Ray went to the Vincent Thomas Bridge

He jumped off it

No mother should ever have to bury her son

But what’s probably worse is a grandmother burying her grandson

And that’s what happened with Ray’s grandmother

She had to bury her own grandson

She always told him she’d love him no matter what

Star or no star

She just wanted him to be happy

He didn’t have to do big things to make her proud

But he wanted all her hard work

To be worth something

To mean something

He wanted that great American tale

Tough life to the high life

Redemption!

Reward!

He wanted that happy ending to the tough life

But maybe he had watched too many movies

And maybe he should have realized

That happy ending or no happy ending

He still had a person in his life

A person who loved him unconditionally

Whom he loved back unconditionally

And that unconditional love

Should have been happy ending enough

But, instead, he killed himself

And ironically his grandmother’s work

All the work she did raising him

It was, indeed, done in vain

His biggest fear

Came true

And it was a fear

He made come true

From his own doing

Author's Note

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