The Sun Also Sets

You are where i start to lose. 
The walls start collapsing-
the bits combusting and catologing.
nothing is lost- just recorded and disected.

you've either stopped breathing or believeing.
in my head, they're the same thing.
because i am still in the same place...
i've just found new ways to guard myself
from you're severals ways to make me die trying.

my cold glasses of water
just a front for the bottles of liquer i shake for at night.
500mgs of any pain perscription i can get my hands on
down the hatch quicker then you can say "relief".
designing my conversations to never give anything away-
i'm not a yard sale.

the telephone wires are what i miss about home.
i know i should say the poeple i love-
but that wouldn't be honest. just trite and annoying.
i don't miss them because i have them.
no reason to miss something that belongs to you.

my body is starting to ache.
the disease is feasting.
smack dead in the middle of the worse month
of the year.
i just remembered all the anniversaries.
there is nothing better then
a writing a not so love letter.

i rubbed the sharp edge of a knife to
my skin.
raw as it became-
blood didn't spill.
maybe that's why i feel so congested.