Your Last Words

JUST a poem...:D

I remember when

We were together,

So happy and innocent.

But now it’s different.

You and I were like fireflies in the night;

 

 

Loving yet carefree.

I loved you like the stars.

But you didn’t love me back.

You acted like it,

But then turned on me and forgot. 

 

You forgot how we used to laugh together,

 Play games and just talk.

I was crazy about you,

And I thought, at one point,

That you felt the same.

 

 

But you couldn’t have!

Or else it wouldn’t be over now.

I barely even think of you,

You are just a memory to me;

A helpless memory.

 

 

You broke my heart,

But I don’t care anymore.

I even remember the last day we really talked.

I remember your last words.

You were telling me to take care

 

 

Because I was feeling sick.

You were telling me that you hoped

I would be okay.

But I don’t care what you think.

I did but I don’t anymore.

 

 

So I’m going to forget you.

You aren’t even a friend to me.

And your last words are like

The snow in the summer.

They have melted away.

Author's Note

Just plz review it. idc how or what just review it if you read it! Thankss.

Reviews

[Ellen Hammond]

What a lovely venting write! It is full of emotion and a powerful determination to pick up the pieces of your heart and move on. Good for you! If someone treats you shamefully, like walking away when you are sick, then I think you deserve much better. Writing can be a good way to let go of the anger that can hurt you more than him, and you also can re-read this on days you may start to feel down so you can renew your determination to move on and be happy. I love your last 2 lines.

[Sean M. Addams]

very emotional piece ..very deep and powerful..liked the imagery in this alot... nice job on this!!!

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Amaazing!! I LOVED IT. very honest, from the heart, great angalogies. esp the ones about "fireflies at night" and "i love you ike the stars, but you ddin't like me back." brilliant. i'm glad you took a bad situation and turned it into a positive, like writing about your hurt and pain. amazing!

[Daniel]

Wow. Strong emotion in this piece.

One thing, though. It seemed a little... I don't know... unorganized maybe?

But at the same time, it flowed well. If that makes ANY sense. Lol. :)

Great job!

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Well Written, your loss of maybe first love is expressed in this piece

[Lizanne]

This tells of a loss that at the time was a great one to you. They abruptly let you go. Things were not the way they were suppose to be. But you show a grown up attitude. In this writing you have analyzed the situation and seem to have come to terms with it. There was no name calling and I love your last three lines. "And your last words are like..The snow in the summer...They have melted away." They speak of you letting go. A very good work from a skillful pen. Keep the words flowing.

[emmajoy]

Such a sad poem, beautifully expressed, Techically you've woven real feelings with fine meter and flowing stanzas. Those last two lines are as good as any I've read lately. After reading this I feel that you're going to grow and grow.

Thank you so much for sharing.

[Ben]

Wow... Sad, but really good! Great job!