alone

alone

A Poem by amanda

you leave me in the dark
alone, waiting
though i cant see
i dont need light to hear
the sound of you
leaving me

© 2012 amanda


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Featured Review

This was excellent. I can really feel the emotion. I enjoyed how it was short; concise but I don't know... maybe you could tell us what the sound is. Heavy footstep, clacking heels? I don't know. I just think that would add another level to the poem, make us feel more for the 'i' in the poem because of what it symbolizes.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Short ut powerful, it really impresses me when poets do so much with so little. Only true poets can force an emotion on readers with 6 lines. Very well done :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Sam Gregory

10 Years Ago

*but
This sounds like when my dad drops me off at school! Then my mum picks me up when everyone is gone! LOL! Really good. I think a lot of people can relate to this! Good job :) :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


Well written with pouring emotion, very well done. In my personal opinion it seems a little cut short, maybe you could add a couple lines in the middle? Not sure, it's up to you. Other than that, it's excellent, overall it's a beautiful poem.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was excellent. I can really feel the emotion. I enjoyed how it was short; concise but I don't know... maybe you could tell us what the sound is. Heavy footstep, clacking heels? I don't know. I just think that would add another level to the poem, make us feel more for the 'i' in the poem because of what it symbolizes.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

alone, waiting in the dark, are images widely used by poets, the sounds are indeed more powerful than usual in such a situation, you described very well this state of mind.

Posted 11 Years Ago


an amazing piece

my fave byy far

i like how you describe how she isnt only SEEING him leave but also how she is hearing him leave her

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

amanda

11 Years Ago

thx
Kerri Hart

11 Years Ago

haha no prob
Hi amanda,

This is a nice, concise effort. You describe an emotion-packed situation. Nice work.

Best regards,

Rick

Posted 11 Years Ago


thx guys :) it means a lot


Posted 11 Years Ago


This is so sad! Very emotional. I like the line of not needing light to hear.

Posted 11 Years Ago


this is very emotional, i love the way you are playing around with the senses and the kick at the end.

Posted 11 Years Ago



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15 Reviews
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Added on July 12, 2012
Last Updated on July 12, 2012

Author

amanda
amanda

About
im a 12 year old girl i started poetry in fifth grade and i used to throw them away because nobody read them so im glad i now have people who like writing as much as i do more..

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