I love the piece overall, as this is my first time reading a Tanka (though I am familiar with it in the formatting sense) I shall do my best. I read this almost as a conversation between the samurai who is going to leave off to battle for his lord in the spring and talking about it with his wife. With the first 4 lines being him, and the last line being her reply.
You did a great job sticking to the form! Finding great words that fit the form and make it flow. Much respect to that. My favorite line, "Surrender your faith" Good job!
now, i never knew this type, Intriguing indeed!
~ oh, i really see your fascination on the history and mythologies kabayan. I see you excel in this part, which is a great deal of knowledge... i love history, but my memory is quite vague in that matter :( ~ great work kabayan!
I love the piece overall, as this is my first time reading a Tanka (though I am familiar with it in the formatting sense) I shall do my best. I read this almost as a conversation between the samurai who is going to leave off to battle for his lord in the spring and talking about it with his wife. With the first 4 lines being him, and the last line being her reply.
You did a great job sticking to the form! Finding great words that fit the form and make it flow. Much respect to that. My favorite line, "Surrender your faith" Good job!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
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I really like its sense of openness- it tells a single story, but could be adapted to fit many different tragedies. "Surrender your faith when the spring comes tomorrow" really gave me the blues- I could really feel the sense of hopelessness and loss that (I think) you were trying to convey. Keep writing! Reading your works is always an experience.
I am just writing for a month and no background in the world of poetry. Hope you will always share your wisdom and correct my mistakes as I need it to solidify my dreams to write. Thank you I love you all.
This has an almost tragic atmosphere - as if this is a parting before the warrior goes of to fight. The emotions feel simplified and refined - and therefore immediate. I like this. P.
DIFC Dubai International Financial Center, Dubai City, United Arab Emirates
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I am just writing for almost 2 months now and no background in the world of poetry. Hope you will always share your wisdom and correct my mistakes as I need it to solidify my dreams to write. Thank y.. more..