Samurai's Fall

 

Cry while you have tears

Mourn my departure tonight  

 

Surrender your faith

 

When the spring comes tomorrow

 

Oh my fearless samurai

Author's Note

This is not Haiku it is Tanka a Japanesse poetry dates back almost 1200 years ago.

Reviews

[Imara]

I love the piece overall, as this is my first time reading a Tanka (though I am familiar with it in the formatting sense) I shall do my best. I read this almost as a conversation between the samurai who is going to leave off to battle for his lord in the spring and talking about it with his wife. With the first 4 lines being him, and the last line being her reply.
You did a great job sticking to the form! Finding great words that fit the form and make it flow. Much respect to that. My favorite line, "Surrender your faith" Good job!

[Hester Vane]

Thank you for sharing this, its wonderful.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Hester, I appreciate your review it means a lot to me.

[Eddie Phillips]

I like the imagery and how it was technically sound.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Brother it is a lovestory of Shinobi NInja and Samurai warrior. glad you like it. thanks for the reads.

[icelandicblue]

I like this one a lot. It sings to the heart of a warrior.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Ice, thanks for the review, this is a loverstory of two warrior.

[Rita L. Sev]

Good job with the Tanka form! An interesting story told as well.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Ms. Rita :) your words always an inspiration :)

[Trigorin]

Not bad. The form is technically correct and you have a good concept. The first line is the best one. Good work.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Tri, your words is always a wisdom and I appreciate it. I am very thankful for your precious time reviewing my work.

[Gerald Parker]

Well done from a priggish a*s!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

I did not expect your well done, because I learn all the time from your review thanks a lot Sir Gerald.

[Gerald Parker]

Er.... I don't know what 'surrender your faith means.' Puzzled. P. A.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

It is about love story of shinobi princess ninja warrior and the samurai warrior. She ask him to be with her, the time the shinobi invaded the samurai camp.

[s y e]

Wow, this was beautiful. A great Tanka, Marc.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks N.H glad you like :) this is my first attempt just bear with me :)

[s y e]

It's good, no need to 'bear with you'

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

lol :) thanks N.H :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Yup it is a tanka indeedy! Nice Marc

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Mr. John :) yehey!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

nice tanka..there is a certain mysterious feel to it.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Mr. Jacob your words always an inspiration.

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful poem. Asia had great writer's and Poet's. I tried to find their work. I enjoyed the poem. Good to look from the point of view of other places and cultures. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thank you Sir :) glad you like and I am inspire by your words.