Blurred

Listen to my heart; did you still hear the heartbeat?

Look at my eyes; I am still looking at you?

Touch my lips and kiss me

Did you still feel the sweetness of my lips?

Now, I am lying here, my vision lost

All I have is the sweet memory of you and me.

 

Carry me,  my body can’t move

Hold me while I grasp my breath

it is been a long time, I remember your last kiss

Very long time I have waited,  that I  kept your promise

Now I can I feel you’re warm body

All I have is the sweet memory of you and me

 

Blurred vision of a lonely soul

Now I am dying to see you more

Blurred vision of a dying Angel

Now I am looking at the light with you, with no fear

 

Can you hold my hands; hold me as it is the last time

Kiss me, feel my body, now, please tell me once more

Blurred vision, my vision completely lost

Tell me, do you still love me? 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

The police is here...LOL
"it is been a long time, I remember your last kissed"---- KISS
"Now I am looking at the light with you, without no fear"---REDUNDANT: without no fear. It can be WITHOUT FEAR or WITH NO FEAR.

But in general, I like this piece as to the concept and structure (free verse). The metaphor of being away from here as a writer because of your busy schedule in your multiple jobs...you are being missed, baby brother. Summertime is coming and I really missed those times which the 3 of us (You, Pax and I) enjoyed our COOL-itan. LOL

The emotion in your piece is strong and powerful...as always. Kudos!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

lol Thanks Missed it too. :) thanks for the review now I change it.

[DarkRainbowPie]

Apart from a few grammar errors, this is a lovely piece, very well done :)

[char]

You're such a romantic, Villaflor. :)

The only mistake I caught that bothered me was the second stanza, line two: "grasp" would imply that you used your hands. I would use "catch".

[Mother Maggie]

In this poem, I can almost see a soul in transition rejoining another soul who went through transition long ago. I also see the reluctance of the soul to release the illusion of the flesh

[Leslie Philibert]

Like the verse form, the two last quatrains...good one.

[Rita L. Sev]

Great depth of feeling here; love blurs all the lines and blinds us everything else at times. Good to see you, Marc!

[Sami Khalil]

Romantically written, lovingly weaved...Bravo..........

[Coyote Poetry]

A honest and direct poem. Some questions we need to be answered and we need to know where we stand. I like the flow of thoughts and the questions in the poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Frieda P]

Well nice to see you back on the cafe again Marc. 'Blurred', your title drew me in, the lines are never clear or easy when it comes to love are they? You've written it aptly.

'gave me your last kiss' I think you meant to say
'your' warm body

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Lol :) I am actually lost, back from the start thanks Frie :) now I will change it.

[Frieda P]

Follow the yellow brick road, and you'll be alright ;) Good to see you again...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thank you Oh I love your Profile :)

[Frieda P]

You're welcome and thanks :)

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Now I am looking the light with you, without no fear
----
Now I am looking at the light with you, without no fear
----
or is that how you wanted to be written and said --- Marc...

the somber tone of this verse...
instills in the write...
as a reader you feel the anguish...
and the ending asked the question:

Tell me, do you love me?

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thank you Glen :) I forgot the at :)

[Glen Yumang Manese]

you're welcome...just looking out for you...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:) thanks a lot