Being Your girlfriend

Being Your girlfriend

A Poem by maricoona91
"

I have seen couples that seemed to have an off balance power dynamic in the social sphere. In my own relationship, I started to feel off balance in the relationship and didn't like the feeling.

"
Being Your Girlfriend.

Your arm around my shoulder is pressing me down.
I can't caress that flower if you're always holding my hand.
We stood around  with your friends and you talked in your language,
I didn't understand so I just stood there and waited.

Being your girlfriend makes me feel small.
We walk around this park all night,
While people stare and care to know
that I am your girlfriend,
 and your arm around my shoulder is making me feel two  feet  small.
And it makes you feel ten feet tall.
And how can we even talk when we are so far apart?
Please give me my hand back, give me room to fall.  

© 2015 maricoona91


Author's Note

maricoona91
This is really rough..thoughts on cleaning it up?

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Excellent message. I can feel the conflict. And maybe this just isn't right. That's okay. There are so many ways to get it wrong, and many fewer for getting it right. Now, mind you, there isn't only one way to get it right, but much fewer. So pay attention. You can get it right. You have to listen to your heart and your mind.

Best regards,

Rick

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

maricoona91

8 Years Ago

Thanks Rick,
I thought I responded to this, but I guess not.
This poem is definitely.. read more



Reviews

Excellent message. I can feel the conflict. And maybe this just isn't right. That's okay. There are so many ways to get it wrong, and many fewer for getting it right. Now, mind you, there isn't only one way to get it right, but much fewer. So pay attention. You can get it right. You have to listen to your heart and your mind.

Best regards,

Rick

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

maricoona91

8 Years Ago

Thanks Rick,
I thought I responded to this, but I guess not.
This poem is definitely.. read more
Yes, I know that feeling all too well. Sometimes it feels like you are a possession rather than an equal and the arm on shoulder/hand is saying "this is mine" and not what it should truly be about. Sometimes, the most important part of being together, is not having to wait and being part of the moment together, not when it suits.
I like this. You convey the smallness you felt well. as for suggestions, I like it, but maybe in the middle, you could put something about what it should be instead of what it is. like looking eye to eye, instead of being looked down on.
Sorry, I am no use at being critical and think it's fine the way it is.

Posted 8 Years Ago


maricoona91

8 Years Ago

Hi,
Thanks for the critique..it is so important for artists, though it is something that is n.. read more
alifeacoustic

8 Years Ago

You're very welcome.
The second part of the last line could be stronger. A 'look for someone else' type of line. I guess choosing a boyfriend/girlfriend can be a trial and error type of process. Its no fun but that's how you learn.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

266 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on September 19, 2015
Last Updated on September 19, 2015
Tags: relationships, love, power


Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Asylum Asylum

A Poem by Emberlorna