OASIS

OASIS

A Poem by Mark
"

--inspired by the poem, "Slow Trickles on my Tongue", by my friend, Emma...

"
OASIS

Of papyrus, I glean the paper, on which I write of my love
Of palms, the fronds which thatch my home against the heat above
Of its fruit, a succulent feast, that titillates my tongue,
Of the Nile, her healing bounty, since a thousand lifetimes sung!

You my love are my Oasis, set amid the endless dunes
A place of comfort, of relief: To you, I hasten soon!
In you, I've placed my deepest trust; Of you, penned a million words--
For you, I've saved my unbound lust; Through you, my song is heard!

© 2009 Mark


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Featured Review

I really like this, the Egyptian theme, which gives the poem and its sentiments a timeless feel. One feels that this could have been written in the time of the Pharoahs, by a nobleman to his distant beloved. The only jarring note, I feel, is in the use of the word 'tunes', which doesn't seem to jell. Perhaps it's just me, but I see that more as a modern word set in an archaic backdrop.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

An oasis that is the way i think of my own wife and home it always draws me Nice to see you have the same inspiratu

Posted 13 Years Ago


I really liked the ancient terms. Your language is pretty cool. There are many strong lines in your poem. I read the poem and was interested, but I would love to “feel” the poem a little more. Good job.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Great stuff, a delightful homaage to a loved one. It captures the way we find ourselves through others.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The Oasis is deep and wet. Metaphor, aside this piece is thoughtful and reflects your talent. Good write...very short though. Would like to have seen two more stanza's at the beginning. But that's just me.

mark

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A very nice piece, Mark. Very loving. I love the imagery and the metaphor is wonderful.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I know Emma and she is all inspiring with her words and you did her a great honor with this beautiful piece of poetry.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Powerful and vivid piece... It carries with it the rhythm of a song and a joyful, rich celebration of love... Wonderful write, Mark!

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I'm truly honoured to have inspired this beautiful post.. if only the muse could do as wonderfully as you.

To liken love to an oasis is incredible: the longing for anything, everything, that comforts and refreshes is found in both.

' You my love are my Oasis, set amid the endless dunes / A place of comfort, of relief: To you, I hasten soon! ' Your wife should treasure those words, they're superbly and lovingly created.

Thank you, thank you for sharing.




Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Outstanding verses here, give this a classic tone of deep love and admiration. Superbly written! Much enjoyed!

Empress

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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17 Reviews
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Added on April 28, 2009
Last Updated on April 30, 2009
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Author

Mark
Mark

Las Vegas, NV



About
Writing, for me, has always been the friend who brought out the best in me, and who would never argue with me, except when necessary to point out my many obvious inconsistancies. Writing and.. more..

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