The Walgreen's Blues...(formerly, "Bettah Dan I Knew I Could")

A friend and I were chatting last night, and she said something which caused this, only my second official blues tune (see, "Cruise Control Blues), to drop into my head. Enjoy!

BETTAH DAN I KNEW I COULD

 

"I’se gwine down to de drugsto', gots to get me some meds;

Oh, Im'a go'n down to de drugsto', gettin ' me some special meds--

If de drugsto' he doan habbit, gots to get it fum de fommasis instead!"

 

"De dokta-man, he doan got it, so I axed him put in a call.

 My dokta-man, he sho' ain't got none, so he made myse'f a call.

 Now I'se headed fo de chemist, he be's rat down de hall!"

 

 " Mistah Fommasis, won't you he'p me? I gots summat needs fixin'bad!

Lawd, Mistah Fommasis, you gotsta he'p me, I be's feelin mighty sad!

Cain't cha dose me dem good meds, like Massa Dokta said you had?"

 

"Lemme look to yo scrip-sheet, Missus, an see wut dat dokta rote.

 Please, did you bring me dat scrip-sheet, woman? I gots ta know wat de dokta rote!

 If you didn't brang no scrip-sheet, Lady, 'sgonna be a helluba note!"

 

“Dokta doan gib me no scrip-sheet, said you’d know what I would need

I ain’ got nary scrip-sheet, Mistah, I’se tole you’d fix me up wit speed!”

Fommasis said, “Woman, I b'leeve I gots yo cure indeed!”

 

“Now what I gots ta gib you, it doan come in no pill,

Ain’t no urrnge bottle hold it, but I reckon, gal, you will!

Now won’t you step back to my office, an’ let me make you well!”

 

“Now de Fommasis, he done hep’t me, wif his speshul healin’ tool,

I gets reglah refills wib it, but doan you think I is no fool!

He gib me a mess o’ speshulists, who I gets meds from too!”

 

“Now all my galfriends goes ta see him, dey all says his meds is good,

Shame dey gots at go so offen, meds doan last good lak dey should

But we’s all feelin’ bettah, baybe, bettah dan we knew we could!”

 

“Lawd! I got’s dem Walgreen’s blooz, y’all!

Uh-huh, dem CVS blooz too, y’all

Getting’ me some Rite-Aid aid, y’all!

Bettah dan I knew I could!”

Author's Note

The misspellings are intentional--it's supposed to represent a deep-Southern brogue

Reviews

[Marie Anzalone]

As usual, I agree with Rick... I didna see no danged misspellings heah.

I was standing in line at the bookstore listening to a woman talk to the clerk about the book she was buying- it was a guide to the South Beach Diet. She kept saying, "it looks this one will give me the energy I need, because it says to cut out fruits and carbs, and I know that those things are what has to be draining me"

and it was so painfully clear to me that this was another act of desperation for her, when what she really needed was to be living a life that was passionate to her, and full of creative energy of some kind. I think the pharmacist in your song would have agreed!

Loved it!

[Through the Gateway]

Oh. My. Sweet. Deity. Of. Your. Choice!

I actually snarfed my drink, Mark. Congratulations!

This was excellent. I could actually hear the bass, guitar and harmonica as I read this. The rhythm was perfect and I couldn't help but laughing! Very well done.

However...I couldn't find any spelling errors.... ;)

[emmajoy]

What a wonderful piece of writing.. i absolutely love it. Had to use my time and brain, read and re-read to find the language and, when I did, laughed and laughed. This is such fun and has a superb finale.

You always write with such care and energy, even the gentler posts, but I do wonder if you had to work extra hard with this to create such a special and bang-on target!?

Thank you so very much for sharing! Shall laugh all the way to the doctor's surgery now!

[John Stussy]

Sorry it took me so long to get to this. Man, I could practically hear the music backing these vocals! Blues writing treats you well. Hell, I haven't played the blues in years but reading this makes me wanna get my sax out and let loose.

[Kenny L. Mitchell]

This reminds me of Mark Twain's Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn speak. It actually is quite eloquent to my southern ears! Very good work! I'm suitably impressed!

[cest la vie]

Oh my goodness!! This is awesome. I mean I love the way you wrote this just like an ole Cajun was speaking. I mean how and where did you do this? I would probably have a mangled, jumbled mess. You wrote this so flawless, the phrases, I hear the dialect perfectly. I am just picturing the ole guy, with the twig hanging out of his lower jaw, just a sangin' (my roots go to Alabama). Again, I love this piece. Excellent!!!

[An owl on the moon]

This was such a colorful, fun read! Could feel the rhythms of the music flowing through the lines, and feel the sway of the crowd listening. Excellent snapshot of the deep Southern tongue!

[Samuel Dickens]

Did you have to nail your dictionary to the shelf to keep it from running away while you wrote this? We need to keep Brer Rabitt well away those pharmacies. Tsk, tsk--you know I WOULD NEVER write anything like this that made a mockery of the English language!

[Rick Puetter]

Hi Mark,

There were misspellings?? Where??!!

Well another really clever one. You seem so good at these. Love the accent. Love the Fommasis-man's solution. Fixed her up (and apparently lots of others) real good. So why she need that damn dokta-man? He don't know sh...t.

High marks on this one.

Best regards,

Rick