Vacuums

Vacuums

A Poem by Marquise
"

about being at the abortion clinic.. last chance to change history for the good, or for the bad...

"
What does history being re-written sound like?
It sounds like vacuum cleaners.
So I hope you tune them out, 
and hear me when I say:
I would never try to change you.

That's like plastering arms back on the Statue of David.
Or taking Michelangelo's Hands of God and Adam
and painting their pointed hands back at themselves.
Mistakes are beautiful.
No anti abortion pro-life organization
should have to tell us that.

Let's take a tour of your art gallery before
you walk in the operation room.
Where pictures of bad memories
become more priceless each time you bring up the past.
Masterpieces are defined not because of their age,
but the story behind them

We didn't take time to factor in
how the decision to play God would affect us.
We were young. And literally in love.
I hope you remember what your favorite aunt told you.
That ever since her abortion, till this day
the sound of vacuum cleaners makes her cry.
But its something you learn to live with.

We could struggle in parenthood, or
we could cringe when we walk pass
Chuckie Cheeses or attending baby-showers.
It takes one hour to complete an abortion process.
It takes one lifetime to forgive yourself for it.

The hour of a lifetime passes.
She walks from out the room.
Before I could ask if she was okay,
she leans in and whispers,

"I would never try to change you either,
but we won't change history this time.
An unborn child is the creation of history.
Abortion erases it.
So we decide to make history.

We make plans to take our child to art museums.
Teach them how to become a masterpiece.
Hopefully they won’t have grow up fast like we did 
and confuse the sound of vacuums 
for the sound of history being re-written.

© 2014 Marquise


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Featured Review

Powerfully written. I it was deeply emotional. You could sense it when you talked about her favorite aunt.

Top Lines:

"We could struggle in parenthood, or
we could cringe when we walk pass
Chuckie Cheeses or attending baby-showers.
It takes one hour to complete an abortion process.
It takes one lifetime to forgive yourself for it.
That's if your the guilty type."


I think that won me over with this.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

nice one read mine too "QUEST OF LIFE"

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is truly a triumph!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow. This piece is SOOO brilliant. Very lovely picture to accompany it, too. =) Anyway, I loved your imagery. This is really a perfect piece. I LOVE IT!
KH

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

anti-abortion

mistakes are beautiful.

the flow between the stanza that ends with "should have to tell us." and "let's take a tour of your art gallery before" doesn't work too entirely well. it feels to separate. but i like the idea of teh art gallery and i see how it ties into the previously mentioned art pieces. maybe a rewording is what you need. but thats up to you.

"The hour of a lifetime passes.
She walks from out the room.
Before I could ask if she was okay,
she leans in and whispers,
"I would never try to change you either,
but we won't change history this time."
ive got goosebumps from reading this. its lovely. and im glad for the decision.

hmm the next stanza. the wording and redundancy of the last line doesn't help the poem. maybe take out the useage of history. it's a bit too much too often.

i love the ending. that was powerful!



This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Powerfully written. I it was deeply emotional. You could sense it when you talked about her favorite aunt.

Top Lines:

"We could struggle in parenthood, or
we could cringe when we walk pass
Chuckie Cheeses or attending baby-showers.
It takes one hour to complete an abortion process.
It takes one lifetime to forgive yourself for it.
That's if your the guilty type."


I think that won me over with this.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wow very creepy. I thought it was good and strong.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wow, this gave me chills, its haunting and speaks volumes, it is spooking to
imagine the sound of vacuum cleaners in context to this amazing poem
that just swept me away, you've done an awsome job. keep it up

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A nice write. The emotions are conveyed well and there is a natural flow.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

this is a very strong poem that is filled with hope and filled with sorrow and all the emotions that go with this. Great write. Strong powerful write.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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825 Views
10 Reviews
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Added on April 22, 2010
Last Updated on January 14, 2014
Tags: abortion vacuum love obama art h
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Author

Marquise
Marquise

Philadelphia, PA



About
I don't consider myself a writer because I don't write often, but I have trouble putting words together when I want to express myself verbally. Writing is the one way I can do this successfully. I lov.. more..

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