First encounter- the movie store

First encounter- the movie store

A Chapter by MusicLover
"

What will happen with 5 teenager girls and 4 men in there 20's a simple flirt, an evil plan and a soon disastorous re-encounter with an old friend.

"

*Maddie's POV*

 

      This is how life should be. A windy March afternoon, striding down the sidewalk with my sisters.  I take a moment to take it all in. Autumn with her panda bear hoodie, rechecking her perfectly applied lipstick, while checking out the guys behind us.  Brooke with her long flowing black hair and her perfectly high cheekbones, she pulls out her inhaler, and takes two puffs. Maria, her usual self, emerald green eyes and long black hair is dancing to music way too loud. And sweet innocent Penny with black hair and red highlights is reading. That girl always has a book with her. And me, Maddie. My long blonde hair and green eyes makes Zack trip over himself. With graduation two and a half months away, we'll make the most of it. We all got accepted to Agnes Scott College, thanks to Maria's dad.

      Just then Maria starts bouncing up and down. This is a sign she'll do something cute or something dumb. All eyes go on her.

      "Did you know that Omhalophobia exists?" Maria asks, trying not to laugh.

      "What does that mean?" asks Penny looking up from the top of her book.

      "Fear of belly buttons." Maria says.

      Before anyone can say anything, Autumn lifts up her tank top just a little bit, looks down and screams. "IT'S GOING TO EAT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!"

      We all just plummet to the ground and we're all laughing so hard. I lean against a tree trying to catch my breath, Zack leaning on the ground; his light brown hair looking even lighter just is so seducing. I lean on the grass and join him and we are just looking at each other. Just then an old man on the corner grunts and angrily unfolds his paper.

      "WE LOVE YOU TOO!!!!!!" Maria bellows out. And that sends me crashing down to the ground again. Man I love my sister.

      "Are we going to get a movie or what? And can you guys act normal, there are cute guys around and you're making ME look crazy." Autumn says, obviously angered with us letting loose.

      "Don’t worry honey; we reached insanity a LONG time ago." Penny attempts to make Autumn crack a smile.

      "Come on let's go." I say trying to calm the situation as Zack kisses me.

      We reach the Blockbuster and Maria runs to get the candy for us.

      "What are you going to get?" Zack asks, and I can smell cinnamon in his breath.

      "Superstition, well if they have it and if not The Exorcist." I say smiling.

      Maria arrives back then with the candy and a pile of movies. She has the Saw series and the Grudge series. I really don’t pay attention because the screams of Rammstein, my favorite German band over comes me and the melody sweeps through me, soothing me from the annoyance of life and Autumn checking every guy out. Zack pushes me to the front counter of the store. I turn my head and see a dark haired man hand Maria a piece of paper.

      "I don’t trust that guy." Zack whispers in my ear.

      "You're just being over protective." I say, trying to comfort him.

      We arrive at the counter and the cashier's are named DILLION and JAMES according to their name tags. The one named Dillon takes the movies, and examines each one carefully. He looks at James and nods.

      "So you girls like horror films right?" Dillon says in a weird voice.

      "Yeah we do, how about you?" Autumn says in a similar kind of tone.

      "Oh, no reason. Can we take a picture of you guys? We are doing a survey on what genre of movies teens like the most. It'll be in the paper in April." Dillon says.

      "Sure?" I say with doubt in my voice.

      “Hey guys don’t forget we have the maroon 5 concert tomorrow.” I say, just as Dillion takes our pictures.

      After what seemed like 20 photos later, some together and some alone, we finally can leave. I had to remind the girls about the psychology project. Zack was at unease the whole time. He kept grabbing my arm tighter and tighter each time one of the guys got closer.

      “Hey guys don’t forget we have the maroon 5 concert tomorrow.” I say, just as we walk out of the store.

      "I don't like the way Dillon and James stared at you and Penny." Zack said, trying to keep his voice even. It didn’t work though.

 

 

*Maria's POV*

 

      We are in the movie store by the time the breeze started to come in. Everyone else heads to the movies while I get the candy for everyone. I pull out my notebook and try to determine my hyrogiphics I call writing.

 

 

 

 

 

Brooke Chocolate

Maria Sour patch kids

Maddie Skittles

Autumn Gumdrops

Penny Lollypops

 

      I run back to the horror section, trying not to kill anyone and I hit a wall, but it is not so hard. I bounce right off and fall. Whatever I hit stumbled back a little.

      "I AM SO SORRY." I practically scream, while fumbling for the candy.

      "It's ok. I'm Blake. Let me help you." Blake says.

      "Oh… well thank you." I say, so absorbed in his beauty. "Oh, do you know any good horror films?" I ask, with a squeak in my voice.

      He handed me a whole stack of movies and I scroll through them. Saw, Saw 2, Saw 3, Saw 4, Saw 5, Saw 6, Saw7, The Grudge, The Grudge 2, The Grudge 3, and The Ring. Wow this boy knows his films.

      "Thanks hold on a sec." I say as I hand the candy and movies to Brooke. I rush back to Blake and he hands me a piece of paper. I slowly unfold the paper, and I see a phone number.

      I am lazily pulled to counter by Penny, I am so distracted. All I can think about is those emerald green eyes and that silky smooth brown hair.

      Blake.

 

 

*Dillion's POV*

 

 

Ugh… I hate my life, my job and myself. Why doesn’t any girl want me? Oh right because I am like the mom in the house. When I was 18 years old my dad left the house and I was still a junior in high school. My sister was born a short time after that. When my sister was only a year old, my mom got into an accident. She was trying to call Samantha, my sister, down and she was rammed into a truck.

      My sister wasn’t touched but mom went into a coma and still has not gotten up. She is on life support and I refuse to take her off. I can't be the one who tells them to pull the plug. So I am referred to my sister as a dad. I had to drop out of college to help take care of her.

      I had to get odd jobs. I now got a job at Blockbuster with my friend James. I hate the job so much. I only took it because it was the only thing available.

      "DILLON, I'M HUNGRY!" Samantha cries from the living room. I pull the royal blue cotton shirt over my well developed body. Before I go fix something for lunch I straighten my light brown hair and put on some black Converse.

      I slug myself over to the kitchen and make 2 grilled cheese sandwiches and a bowl of Campbell's Tomato soup. I look at the little green numbers on the stove clock and then at the folded up schedule on the fridge. James will be here in ten minutes so I scarf down a grilled cheese and a glass of milk.

      Just before I leave I call out to my sister,

      "I'll be home at ten; there is cheese, bread and ham in the fridge. You can go to a friend's house. I want you asleep by the time I come back. I love you." I blow a kiss to her and set off.

      James recently got a new truck. It is a black pickup truck with the closeable lids. I slid into the new set of wheels and marvel at the inside space. There is enough room for five people in this thing.  

         We drive by the park and I lazily stare out the window and I see five girls laugh like the just got out of an insane asylum. I pay close attention to the girl with red highlights, glued to a book and a girl in a panda bear hoodie who lifts up her shirt and screams. I am wondering if the girls are drunk. They're not even in college yet. My mom always said, 'The smart girls are more your type.'

      Apparently when I turn back my head to change the radio station, James was staring too. Red highlight girl is mine. We drove in silence the rest of the way to work.

      Today work is the same as always. There is the fighting couple who can't pick a movie, the children running touching everything, and the old ladies paying in quarters. The store was quiet at about 5:30 so I just look out at the sunset. Just then a pile of chattering teenagers comes in. It is the same girls from the park.

      One of them, pulls a list out of her pocket and skips on over to the candy section. She has these amazing green eyes and nice smooth black hair. She is talking to Blake, my old high school friend.

      I now have a plan. I ask James for his camera and the Yearbook hat he found back by the Science Fiction section a week ago. I thought of a sneaky idea. Now I need to find the bait for the girls. And I know who to use. A forgotten memory will be removed from silence.



© 2012 MusicLover


Author's Note

MusicLover
This is my person Maria

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Reviews

I like the opening chapter. Gave story a feel of real life and real thoughts. I like the conversation about the concert. A very good opening chapter. I will keep reading.
Coyote

Posted 11 Years Ago


hey nice begining, but like the comment below mine, it did bother me when you said "then this happened." because you used it alittle to much. other than that though i like where the story is going and i look forward to reading the next chapter in the morning. :D
-Mariah

Posted 11 Years Ago


ok. I will be blunt and honest. Some things bothered me more than others. Like using the word "then" or then this happened... never use this to begin some drama or creating action to move the story along. You or this story really needs some work. But it is not hopeless. Try a simple excersise. Close your eyes and see how things happen around you. Describe each thing you noticed. Knowing the reader is blind. Let the words tell action. Example ....Most poeple know what it supose to look like when someone walks. So describe the emotions instead of saying.just then. Say. A Daved turned around as heard the bell on the door ring. Much better then saying just then.

Start simple and remember less is more. Give action details. Use what you see, smell, touch, and hear. But most of all use what you feel. Emotion is what drives the story. It is the writers job to create the emotion. We all feel.

Posted 11 Years Ago


"Did you know that Omhalophobia exists?" Maria asks, trying not to laugh.

"What does that mean?" asks Penny looking up from the top of her book.

"Fear of belly buttons." Maria says.

lol Reminds me of the random conversations I would have when I was in 8th grade.

"Brooke Chocolate

Maria Sour patch kids

Maddie Skittles

Autumn Gumdrops

Penny Lollypops"

Sounds like the name for some ponies on My Little Pony (my brother's a brony and it's rubbed off on to me)

I feel bad for Dillion. Poor guy :/

Sorry I would post comments as I read this chapter.


Posted 12 Years Ago


cooooll xD post the next one!! haha, i'm so impatent xD

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on April 13, 2012
Last Updated on May 11, 2012
Tags: movie store


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MusicLover
MusicLover

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