Poetry Found Dead

A report is coming in that a large amount of poetry has been found dead.

 

The poetry was found near Parliament Hill Fields early this morning by a man walking his dog. The man, a Mr Frost, said he normally does not take that particular route to the fields, but decided that morning to take the road less traveled by.

The Poetry Police say the poems were probably written sometime in the last ten years by people aged between 12 and 98, and who may or may not be poets. The poetry appears to have been savagely murdered.

 

The Po-Po also revealed that at this point they suspect the P.L.O (Poetry Liberation Organisation) The I.R.A (Intelligentsia Reviewing Association) and P.A.G.A.N (Poets against Gushing Appraisals & Narcissism.) The dead poetry is also being heavily linked to 'the internet.'

 

On the possible reasons for the unusually frenzied murder, a spokeswoman for the Poetry Police, Carol A. Duffy, said “Poetry is series of intense moments. I’m not dealing with facts, I’m dealing with emotion. This is perhaps why it is such a bloody mess over there.”

 

Rumors abound that the motive for the killing is linked to the possible torture the dead poetry might have administered on its readers within a ten year time frame. The Po-Po is unable to confirm or deny the rumor, but did say that there has been a lot of gang-poet related warfare recently. The violence has taken on many forms, from hurtful comments on ‘comments’ to outright ruthless stabbings via a computer keyboard. One poet was injured so badly that it took sixteen minutes for them to recover before carrying out their revenge with a sinister, yet skilful, use of a Haiku.

 

The Po-Po is appealing to the writing public for any information on the murdered poetry. In a statement released earlier they called for people to keep calm and carry on writing and appraising in whatever way they see fit, being always mindful that any further writing could result in yet more murdered poetry.

Reviews

[icaros13]

"In later news, the problem of unclaimed corpses caused by the poetry murders continues to escalate. It seems no one is willing to claim responsibility for the mangled words. A.S.P (Advocacy for Sub-par Poetry) has been asked to help with the problem, but spokesperson Feta Palaver told reporters earlier today, "...we have dealt with some terrible dead poetry, but this is a mess even we aren't equipped to clean up..."

This story had me laughing out loud. It is extremely clever and humorous. I didn't see "story" under the title, so I was expecting a poem. You have made my evening, Rosalind.

[Rosalind Gale]

I am happy icaros - to make your evening is a compliment indeed! And I enjoyed your 'report' too - maybe we should create a dead poetry fanzine!
-xx-

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

I hope to become your friend soon, and yeah, I think we def all lived vicariously through this masterpiece..I forgot to take myself seriously the whole time I was making dinner

[Lina Grey]

I find both the your story, Rosa, and icaros's comment quite hilarious. If you create a dead poetry fanzine, I would very much like to be a part of it ^_^ This is like nothing I have seen before. Bravo! Thank you.

[icaros13]

I think a fanzine would be spectacular! It does make me wonder, though, if any of my poems are among the remains... probably...lol

[Lina Grey]

Your's as well as mine. I like your poetry. You have an insightful and unique style that I, for one, wouldn't want to throw away. I wouldn't like to think that mine would be among the remains, either, but you never know until you look, I'd say. lol

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

well, I can hack mainframes, but apparently only the ones in the more insufferable dimensions, yet these rss feeds make about as much sense to me as the sound potatoes make when hit with chinese stars..only time will tell..as far as your theoretical conflicts, these will be resolved by the baby demon's tail drinking the wind, or say I assume...

[Art]

very creatively written...almost murderously expressed...enjoyably deathly...

nice....

[Clayton Bardwell]

I saw them. They went that way. There was a bunch of 'em. One of them was carrying a Haiku, still dripping blood.

To say this was brilliant is an understatement. What a clever way to express your point of view . . . and mine!

[jdr / Jennifer]

Great piece. I love the way this is written- I was laughing and smiling all the way through. Wonderful read. Thank you.

[Rosalind Gale]

Thank you Jenn -
-x-

[michelle]

me too, agree completely, really funny. i love the Carol Ann Duffy Quote...THAT quote got shoved in soooo many of my essays...made me laugh when I saw it!

[Renée]

lol !! This is great !

[Dean]

I know the corpus well. Even in death, it pops up, insisting that it is still alive. Don't tell anyone, but my name has been linked among the suspects. This corpus will NOT be buried! And I will not mourn.

[Aarontastic]

This was hilarious! XD This makes me realize that there's not very much humorous writing on this website that I've come across. We could def. use more than that, but writing a poem from the perspective of a newscaster reporting on murdered poetry to make fun of this site a little was...refreshing. I want to join PAGAN XD

[icaros13]

"The Poetry Police have issued a public service announcement related to the Dead Poetry case. There has been a string of burglaries committed online in which large amounts of time have been stolen from unsuspecting readers in search of live poetry. The time thieves are thought to gain access to the victims' time by issuing excessive friend and read requests. Never before in the history of teen angst has there been such a blatant, shameless play for approval and attention. At first, authorities believed it was the work of a few individuals trying to dump the remains of dead poetry, but lately there has been a trend of these time thieves working together to distribute more decaying words. Some authors are taking up their Blunt Axes to help the Po Po End the Pursuit, but they may as well be Contact Juggling. While No Mortals Have Been Harmed as of yet, the problem is growing with each passing day."

My apologies, Rosalind. I do not mean to hijack your post. The thought came to mind and I couldn't resist...

[Rosalind Gale]

Resistance would have been futile dear M -
-xxxx-
;)

[icaros13]

i have almost infinite stores of self control in almost all things but writing....and love, of course.

[Corset]

oh crap, I read this and never commented, twice, lol..ok this time I'm not leaving the phone, laundry and dishes can go to hell. hmmm what can I say that hasn't been said.lmao @Carol A. Duffy, said “Poetry is series of intense moments. I’m not dealing with facts, "I’m dealing with emotion. This is perhaps why it is such a bloody mess over there.” I love this even though you are probably talking about my poetry (squints skeptically at you with beady eyes) JK, maybe, hahaa, and even if you are it's true poetry is bleeding us all out, we are hacking it to death, except you of course you are using blunt axes for the dirty job of getting rid of the bodies, lolol, ok ok ok, I really am just kidding, if you only knew how much I love your writing. I LOVE YOU!!!!! hahahaa oxoxoxoxox

[Rosalind Gale]

;))) -xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx-

[Shelley Holt-Lowrey]

Oh WOW Miss Rosalind. I love this writing here so very much!! Your voice is truly authentic, and not once did you crack a smile while writing it. Nice to stumble across such a piece of humor. One that addresses a volatile social issue. The fall of traditional poetry!! OK - so probably this doesn't threaten the future of mankind or the environment, but still... Funny funny piece. Oh - and relevant to this place without a doubt!!

[Rosalind Gale]

xxxxxxxx!

[demureminds]

Oh gosh I love this haha. I like the stark yet subtleness of this piece. Not to mention it's remarkably creative. Also wonderful hidden references! (:

[Rosalind Gale]

Thank you thank you!
-x-