I know I have A Problem

I worship this high.
I need pills, sweetheart,
To blink white, brown, tears on my powdery face.
Love to wake with junkie
Girls -
Love their dirty ways and needles
For eyes.
The smell of dead sex-
Filled air lurks and smothers
My dilated heart.
The bleak mirror
Claws forth a cracked corpse, pulsing,
Mutated. Soaked -
I wake up rigid and lonely.
There are no more days left -
So I thank my pusher. I live and die once more.

Reviews

[Kristallo]

You have such a direct and sinister way of commanding attention, and comprehension, from your reader with a coy and edgy sort of eloquence that I could never hope to harness. You are a beautiful disaster, my dear, and I never neglect my refuge of tantalizing retreat into the careful words that shadow my heart, all of them strung by you and enrapturing me. It's fascinating, really.

I wake up rigid and lonely.
There are no more days left -
So I thank my pusher and die once more.

If there was ever a better ending to a poem, I don't know of it. Bravo.

[Rosalind Gale]

-xxxxxxxxx-

[Neville]

No holds barred here then. What an incredibly powerful write you have crafted, delivering perfectly timed and strategically placed blows, one after the other. Even those to the kidney are sublime. Bravo, Neville

[Renée]

Holy Cow you really know how to let it go and get it out ! Fantastic work !

[Rosalind Gale]

Thanks so much -
-xx-

[Kim]

Another visually and conceptually stimulating piece! Third line's a kicker. I especially love how you floated the hyphenated "sex-filled" over the line break. You are so innovative with wordplay and word placement. My only editorial comment is about commas. On the line "I need pills sweetheart," I think you should put a comma after "pills" so that you can show that you're addressing "sweetheart." Also, I'd put a comma after "Soaked" (even though it's visually not that appealing) because without it, that sentence is a bit unclear and could even be a run-on. I think the only alternative to putting the comma after "soaked" is putting it a few words later after "wake up," but that gives the sentence a different meaning. Take a look at it and see what you think. Again, great work :)

[Rosalind Gale]

Thank you Kim, for your thoughtful review -
-x-

[Felecia]

This poem pretty much took my breath away. This poem that speaks for loving and needing darkness. The obbsession for it. I feel like that sometimes (althought i've never EVER done drugs or anything like that). It spoke to me right from the beginning. Well done Rosalind

[Rosalind Gale]

-xx-
Thank you -

[Felecia]

You're welcome :)

[Toni Blackerby]

its amazing so original

[Rosalind Gale]

Thank you Toni -
-x-

[Toni Blackerby]

ur welcome

[Mickey Hilts]

you make me want to do something, cry, scream or whatever. Desperate poem about loving darkness, seedy and magnificent. You never miss, honesty and brutality, you're words make so many others just seem dull and meangingless. thank you for writing

[...]

An extremely potent display of carelessness! Powerful hardcore truth, leaving a huge impact on your reader. Very dark, Rosalind!

[Leslie Philibert]

This is good too, maybe from style here a bit different from the others, the short phrases give it a imagist/modernist kind of feeling. Like the short phrases and the punctuation, which gives it a lot of impact, good one.

[Baby Ricochet]

Creepy. Good Job