Chapter Fifty-Three

Chapter 53

“Lily?” Kalila asked when she saw my eyes opened.

“What happened?” I asked. I hadn’t had anybody to call for this time I didn’t know if Jonathon was around to hit me for calling for Kalila and I didn’t want him around if he wasn’t.

“You fought Jonathon.” She whispered but there was pride in her eyes she wasn’t touching me though so it was obvious I had lost.

“Where is he?”

“What do you mean you fought him?”

“It’s obvious I lost.” I sighed and then flinched as it hurt.

“You really don’t remember anything.” Cole’s voice came from beside me and this time I flinched from a completely different kind of hurt.

“Cole stepped in.” Kalila told me, “Jonathon will never hurt you again.”

“Yes he will.” I argued.

“I killed him.” Cole told me.

“He’ll still haunt me until I win.” I said still only talking to Kalila.

“I think you and Cole need to talk so I’ll leave.” Kalila whispered.

“No stay… please… I missed you.” I begged reaching out even though it was killing me to do it. She could see the pain it caused to reach out and the pain the thought of being alone with Cole caused me and she sat back down beside me taking my hand gently.

“You’ll talk to him later?” she asked.

“Sure whatever you want.” I agreed quickly positive I could come up with another excuse then or at least I would be able to move.

“Sorry Kalila only husband and wife are allowed in here.” Doc said coming in. I flinched at the reminder that Cole was still my husband and that made all the pain he had caused me worse and even harder to forgive.

“How’s she doing?” Cole asked in a sad voice and I remembered when I was this sick the wall was completely down and that he wouldn’t put his up. He wanted to know what was making it so hard for me to forgive him.

“Lily, do you understand?” Doc asked and I realized he’d been talking this entire time.

“Oh… umm… yeah…” I stuttered sure that if it was important Cole would pass it to Kalila and I could catch it then. Kalila and Ben came in when Doc left and my mind went back to thinking through everything that had happened and how much I hated Cole for coming back and making it impossible for me to just continue to pretend to be okay.

“I’m so sorry, Lily.” Kalila said hugging me with tears falling.

“For what?” I asked confused and I suddenly realized I’d missed Cole filling them in on what Doc had told us.

“Well what you have is just so horrible.” Ben said holding her.

“It is?” I asked and then “I mean it is.” I nodded solemnly trying to think of something it could be.

“Of course I mean no more fighting.”

“No more fighting!” I exclaimed.

“Gotcha!” They laughed.

“Maybe next time you’ll listen to Doc.” Dad said coming in. “He came out and told Ben and Kalila to do it since you and Cole weren’t listening. He really said you were doing just fine on the road to being perfectly well.”

“Good.” I shrugged and laid my head back on the bed. The doctor had lied though. I would never be ‘perfectly well’ again. My heart would never heal.

“You have a visitor.” Mom said at the door.

“Let Sara in.” I laughed.

“It’s not Sara.” She shook her head, “They said they know you.”

“Who is it?” I asked confused Booth was already here.

“Travis Paine?” She asked.

“Travis!!” I smiled he was one of the vampires we had met while we were going to human schools and we had become friends.

“Hey Lily I didn’t mean to come when you were sick.”

“It’s no problem I’m glad you’re here.” I smiled happily, “I could use a friendly face.” Plus Cole absolute despises you. Should have been the end of my sentence but it was not necessary to add.

“Well I’m glad.” He smiled coming over and sitting on the edge of the bed before kissing my cheek. “Sorry I couldn’t make it to your wedding.”

“That’s okay it was a mistake anyway.” I shrugged and I saw everybody in the room back up.

“Wait a second Lily you shouldn’t be talking like that to me.” Did I mention that the reason Cole hated him was because he’d tried to steal me a few decades after Cole and I had imprinted the first time.

“Cole and I are over that’s all there is to say on the deal.” I shrugged.

“Do you guys mind to give us a second?” he asked.

“Not if it gets you to talk some sense into the girl.” Mom said.

“At least get her to talk to him again.” Kalila begged.

“Who was that?” Travis asked.

“My mom.” I shrugged glad the subject had changed I was stuck on the bed and Kalila had left me after saying she wouldn’t. I was already in pain too I didn’t need to talk about Cole.

“What happened with Cole?”

“I don’t think that’s really anybody’s business but mine and Cole’s and he knows.” I shrugged.

“So why won’t you give him another chance?”

“He knows that too.”

“Why won’t you talk to him?”

“He knows.”

“How does he know all this I know you wouldn’t voluntarily tell him?”

“Let’s just say this isn’t the first time I’ve been like this in the past year and when I’m like this I can’t block the thoughts from him. The prophesies are wrong, though, when we give up on the love the powers don’t stop.”

“Unless you’re the only one that’s given up? Imprints stop when people give up on love too.” He reminded me and I remembered the pull of the imprint when it forced us to kiss again.

“Dang-it Cole!!!!!!!” I screamed, “Give up!!!!!!! I don’t want this anymore!!!!!!!!!!!” I cried and the tears poured from me more than ever before as all the pain caused from all of this became too much for me to take. I couldn’t carry it anymore. I couldn’t pretend to be okay with all of this. I was in pain and even though it wasn’t okay I was going to continue to be.

“Lily-be…” his voice came from right beside me and I felt Travis’s arms unwrap.

“If you do this, Travis, I’ll never forgive you.” My warning sounded more like begging even to my own ears.

“Yes you will.” He assured me as he left me alone with Cole for the first time in almost a year.

“Please just talk to me.” Cole begged when he saw me straining to get up.

“No… just give up.” I begged.

“Why should I?”

“Because I’m not willing to let myself get hurt again.” I snapped even though he wasn’t expecting me to be willing to say it aloud. He didn’t think I’d admit that I still felt anything for him.

“Lily-be I…”

“I don’t want to hear it, Cole.” I whispered, “You cheated and that was the last hurt I was willing to take.”

“No I didn’t.” he jumped, “What in the world gave you that idea?”

“After our fight over the girl in your room…” I whispered.

“I never tried to explain.” He sighed, “Lily-be, I was trying to figure out a way to get to you without risking hurting you.” He gently brushed my hair away, “I figured you wouldn’t believe me after such a huge fight.”

“What about how little our relationship means to you?”

“Right now it seems to me that it means more to me than it does to you.” He countered.

“Our relationship meant everything to me, Cole.” I whispered, “I still cry every night over it. Do you not see how I would want to protect my heart from that again? It’s been through so much lately. I don’t know how much more it could take.”

“So you went to Jonathon?” he whispered guiltily giving me time to think about it.

“He came to me when he heard the rumors it just happened to be true when he got here.”

“Still?”

“He was supposed to make me forget you ever existed. He only hurts me physically that’s a lot better than emotionally.”

“Which brings us back to forgetting me?” he sighed.

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry, Lily-be. I don’t know if that makes this any easier but I’m sorry. I’ll leave but I refuse to ever give up on you. I love you way too much for that. The world needs us too.” He left and I wished I wasn’t stuck in bed unable to move. I mean it was bad enough when my mind didn’t want to think but now when it insisted on thinking about Cole it was unbearable especially when my heart yearned to just go after him but my mind wanted to protect my heart. Cole made everybody leave me alone and I was grateful for that as I spent the day crying over my heart and minds’ fight.

The next week I was able to move some but Doc wouldn’t let me he made me stay in bed so I just moved in the bed enjoying being able to move slowly without hurting. I was still wrestling my decisions though and I was scared because the wrong one was winning quickly as I stayed in bed studying and memories came to me.