Masquerade

Isabel can't wait to go to her senior prom, but her past - Ethan - makes an unexpected appearance that leaves her thinking back to that summers night, and wondering just what she should do about him.

“I cannot believe I let you talk me into this.” I said as I stood in front of a full length mirror, waiting patiently as Serena adjusted, poked, prodded, and pinched her way through my dress fitting.

            “Oh shut it. It's not every day my granddaughter can dress up for her senior year.”           

            “Serena... it's only Prom.”

            “I don't care. Now stand still.”

            I sighed as my grandmother continued to poke around with my dress. She hated it when we called her “grandma”. She said it made her feel old, so we called her by her first name �" Serena. But Serena was far from even being “old”. She was only in her late fifties and could pass for a forty year old. She was an independent woman, always doing things. And by things I mean travelling across the world, being spontaneous, and owning her own clothing boutique. Which was why I found myself standing in a stunning gown I wouldn't want to even breathe on let alone wear to an event filled with messy teenagers, after I made the mistake of mentioning our Masquerade themed Prom.

            “I said stand still.” Serena muttered through a mouth filled with pins as she poked me in the side.

            It wasn't even the fact that my grandmother couldn't afford this dress. She could alright �" about three others as well as accessories to match. After buying the old bakery, she completely refurbished the building, transforming it into the first boutique to appear in our town. And it had been crazy successful since, and that was more than twenty five years ago. She designed her own dresses, made them and sold them, all with the help of her two sisters, Jane and Gwen, whom I was allowed to call Nana and Gammy.

            The dress Serena was altering, was one she designed herself. It was strapless, golden yellow, with an empire waistline that plunged to just barely hanging over the ground. It was beaded intricately along the waist, the chest, along the sides, and down the skirt. Absolutely breathtaking, and I couldn't believe that she made it just for me. “There's your grad present.” she had joked. But I knew she just loved to see me dress up �" which was rare.

            I was a jeans, shirt and sweater kind of girl. They were comfy, easy, and there were a lot of different combinations. Also, I didn't go anywhere without my Converse. I had no idea what I was going to do for Prom because Serena had given me a pair of strappy heels for the occasion. In case you

 may not have noticed from my choice of wardrobe, I didn't do heels. I wasn't the girliest girl in the world.

            “Alright, I think we're done here.” said Serena, standing up from kneeling and brushing off her slacks.

            “I can take it off now?” I asked. I didn't want to move and wreck anything.

            “Oh it's fine, Izzy. Just don't hack at it with scissors or stomp on it and it will all be good. That fabric may look dainty but it's indestructible.”

            I smiled, and stepped off the small stool, turning my back to Serena as she slowly unzipped the back of my dress. I couldn't help but lift the skirt as I walked into the change room. I also couldn't help feeling a little like royalty. Stupid, I know. I hated dressing up, but whenever I did, I tended to feel a bit... giddy. Yes, embarrassing as hell, but I didn't care. I carefully slid out of the dress and slowly zipped the back up again, placing it back on the hanger and hurried into my original clothes.

            “Thanks again for doing this, Serena.” I said, pulling back the curtain and carefully carrying the dress back to her.

            “It's no problem. It was nothing.” she said, draping the dress in her arms, but I knew this meant a lot to her. I slid on my Converse as she gently set my dress onto her sewing table. “I'll have it to you on Thursday. Just in time for Friday. You can take the shoes with you now. Oh, and I have something else for you.” She hurried off towards her office and I sat down on a nearby chair. She came back carrying a square box of some sort, and a larger one. She set the large one down, and opened the thin velvet case I recognized as a jewelry box. I gasped as she unveiled a simple gold chain with a small diamond heart attached.

            “It's beautiful.” I whispered as she held the necklace in front of me.

            “I want you to have it.” she said quietly. “This has been  passed from grandmother to granddaughter in our family for a long time.” She clasped it around my neck.

            “Why didn't you give it Michelle?” I asked. She was her granddaughter too.

            “She didn't want it. Said she would probably lose it. But I know that you will treat it with respect.” she said as she picked up the larger box.

            Inside rested a mask. Simple, one that had a string attached so your hands were free. Sequins covered every inch of it, and when she moved it in her hands, it dazzled under the light.

            “Thank you so much, Grandma.” I said, throwing my arms around her, carefully avoiding crushing the mask.

            “I though I told you not to call me that.” she said defensively, but wound her arms around me anyways. We sat there embraced until she finally let go. “Remember: Thursday. And I'm certain Michelle will be able to do something amazing with those golden locks of yours.”        

            I smiled. “I'm sure she will.”

            “Great. Now get out of here. You know your mother thinks I'm a bad influence on you.”

            I laughed and grabbed the mask box before planting a quick kiss on her cheek. “Love you.”

            “And I love you.” she replied.

            I slipped my backpack that had been sitting on the floor onto my shoulders and gave one final wave before opening the door and headed home.

 

*    *    *

 

            “Hurry up! Josh is going to be here any minute!” my mother yelled up the stairs. My mom got way too excited over things, and me going to Prom with an actual guy topped the cake. She was exploding from ecstasy, running around trying to make sure everything was perfect. I was upstairs as my sister Michelle put the final touches in my hair.

            “Be quiet, Mom!” Michelle yelled back, curling a piece of my hair. “We'll be done in like, three minutes.”

            I smiled, staring in the mirror in front of me. I barely recognized myself. Michelle had curled my hair in perfect ringlets, framing my face. She was a genie with hair, which was why she was the only hairdresser I trusted.

            She placed individual sapphire pins around the top of my head, bringing out my eyes. I already had my dress on, shoes, and the infamous necklace.

            “There. Done.” she said after touching up my makeup. “You look perfect.”

            “Thanks, Mikey.” I said, using our family nickname for her. She hated it.

            She punched me lightly on the arm. “You're welcome, Izzy.”

            “Oh it's so nice to see you, Josh.” my mother said in a raised voice which meant: “Get your asses down here now.”

            Michelle handed me my sequined mask and smacked me in the butt after I raised out of my chair. She handed me my shawl and my bag hiding my Converse. She knew me too well. I grinned at her and I carefully manoeuvred my way down the stairs in my grandma's death shoes �" I mean, how high could a heel get? �" and  spotted my mother making small talk with Josh, my date. He looked bored but straightened up when he saw me.

            “Wow, Isabel, you look... great.” he said, giving me the once over. 

            “You look pretty fine yourself.” I replied.

            He smiled a sheepish grin. Josh was one of my best friends, and he was ridiculously attractive. Over six feet of pure muscle from hockey, emerald eyes, blonde hair, and a smile that wouldn't quit.

            “Come on you guys. Pictures!” shrieked my mother, wielding her digital camera like a weapon. You didn't joke around when my mother had her camera out.

            After about a gazillion pictures (and that's a slight understatement) we were finally freed to go to Prom. 

            “You hear from Chels?” Josh asked, helping me into his truck.

            “She texted me saying she was all ready and just waiting for Justin.”

            “Oh.” he said, clearly disappointed.

            Josh was absolutely head over heels in love with Chelsea, our third amigo. I kept telling him to make a move or something, but he just procrastinated and procrastinated. But when his twin brother, Justin, came back from some basketball camp this summer, she was gone. Don't ask me why she fell for Justin and not Josh. They looked the same; same eyes and hair, but Justin was cockier, a ladies man, and a show off �" the kind of people she tended to fall for. But since they started dating, Justin has been less cocky, less of a ladies man, and even more of a show off. I knew that Josh was on the verge of punching his brother in the face.

            As soon as we were on the road, I ditched my heels, which were pinching already. I slipped on my Converse, feeling my feet sigh in relief. I tossed the heels in the backseat and smiled, wiggling my toes.

            “You are the weirdest person ever.” Josh said, glancing at me.

            “How would you like to wear those around?”

            “Why would I?”
            “Exactly.”

           

 

            By the time we pulled into the valet parking section, reserved especially for Prom, there were already a ton of other vehicles ahead of us.

            The planning committee went big this year.

            Somehow, they had managed to rent out the entire dining hall, ballroom, and outside area from our fanciest hotel. All I knew was that they fund-raised a ridiculous amount of money, which I'm pretty sure all came from Miranda Browns dad who owned the hotel, which explained everything.

            Josh and I inched our way closer to the valet before finally getting out. Josh handed his truck keys to a guy in an expensive looking vest wearing an unimpressed expression on his face. But as Josh and I walked to the hotel entrance, I couldn't help but gawk at how beautiful the place was. White and blue lights twinkled in the trees and small, round lanterns lined the pathway. I could hear music thumping from inside and I felt excited.

            Josh handed our tickets to a man standing behind a podium beside the automatic doors. “Enjoy your night.” he said in a monotone voice. Josh and I stepped forward, arms linked together as the doors opened and we stepped inside.

            My eyes widened as I looked around. The place was absolutely amazing. Lights were lit all around the lobby, decorated in different plants scattered about. More lanterns hung from the ridiculous high ceiling �" how they got up there, I have no idea. Josh and I were directed into the ballroom and I was amazed at how huge it was. I had never been in this hotel before, seeing no reason why I would even come here in the first place. I realized just why this hotel had been chosen as our destination. Whoever the decorator was, was a genius. The ballroom, or the dance floor, was decorated similar as the lobby; white and blue lights, lanterns hanging. But a ginormous fountain bubbled in the centre. I refrained from politely covering my mouth and just stood there with my mouth gaping open. This was beyond the thirty-five dollar admission ticket.

            Other students were already dancing and conversing. All the girls with amazing dresses and the guys with stylish suits. They were also all wearing masks, and I remembered mine.

            “Shoot.” I mumbled, quickly strapping it on before anyone noticed who I was. That was the point of a masquerade, wasn't it? Josh put his on too as the fast beat song ended and changed to a slow song. Couples started pairing off in seconds. Josh and I glanced at each other.

            “Um, do you want a  drink or something?” he asked, nodding towards the enormous snack table where multiple guys seemed to be hanging out, eyeing the finger sandwiches and the bedazzled girls giggling in the corners.

            “Sure.” I said, and we walked towards the section holding four different bowls filled with different kinds of punches. I filled a glass with Strawberry Sparkle and stood casually beside Josh.

            I knew Josh was waiting for Chelsea to make her entrance, but I was busy just looking around, fascinated by all the different sparkling lights. There were just too many not to look at. As I stood there, glancing around, I also noticed multiple people staring at me. Both the guys and the girls. The guys were looking at me as if I were a cheeseburger, and the girls were glaring at me as if I stole their boyfriends. Whatever was happening, I did not like it.

            I tried to ignore the stares and focused on the decorations. They soothed me. As I went from one lantern to the next, my gaze froze on someone. He was standing by himself, near a group of hanging lanterns, which casted a shadow across his mask covered face. His face was straight as he ignored girls asking for a dance. His eyes stayed down and covered by long black bangs. He was very handsome, and I found myself studying him. How every time he thought of something, his mouth lifted in a crooked smile. How his hard looking chest rose up and down as he breathed slow and steady. His slightly ruffled white collar under a sharp black suit. His casual stance; hands in his pockets. There was something familiar about him, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

            Then he looked up at me, eyes as blue as ice staring into mine.

            No way.

            “Isabel! Oh my goodness are you ever gorgeous!” shrieked someone from behind me. I turned around to see Chelsea and Justin standing in front of us. “I'd hug you but I don't want to ruin your amazing hair!”

            I smiled, looking at her as calmly as I could. She was wearing a red floor-length dress that made her red hair shine. She had straightened it, instead of its usual curly mass. “You look beautiful, Chels.” I said, hugging her anyway.          

            “Yeah. You clean up real nice.” said Josh, before downing the rest of his punch. I glared at him. This was one of the reasons she chose Justin over Josh �" he had no idea how to talk to women.

            “Thanks Josh. You are too kind.” said Chelsea, her voice leaking sarcasm. She stepped back from hugging me, but stood there with her head tilted to the side. She could always tell when something was up with me, and there was definitely something up.

            “Hey, I'll be right back. Isabel was going to tell me something.” she said to the guys and grabbed my arm, dragging me away from the refreshments and away from Justin and Josh, who were already sizing each other up. “What is it?” she asked as soon as we were far enough away from them and everyone else. I stared into her eyes, taking a deep breath.

            “He's here.”

            She stared at me. “Him?”

            I nodded.

            “You mean, that him?”

            I nodded again, feeling helpless.

            “Why would he be here?”

            I shrugged my shoulders. “I have no idea.”

            “When was the last time you saw him?”

            I knew without even thinking. “Last summer at the lake.”

            “Where is he?”
            “He was over there.” I said, turning to the three lanterns where I saw him standing, but when I tried to search for him, I realized that he had vanished. “Well, I swear he was over there. He dyed his hair black, but I recognized his eyes.”

            She stared at me, a frown appearing on her face. “I'm sorry, Isabel-”

            “Hello ladies,” interrupted Justin, appearing by Chelsea's side. “Mind if I borrow this one? This is my jam.” He wrapped his arm around Chelsea's waist and dragged her onto the dance floor, which was now playing some techno beat. I stared at her pleadingly, but she only looked at me. She mouthed “Sorry” and started dancing with Justin. I frowned, walking back over to Josh, who hadn't moved an inch except to glare at his brother.

            “You need to do something tonight if you want her to know how you feel.” I said, grabbing a cream puff and shoving it into my mouth.

            “Why should I? It's obvious that she likes him. I don't know why I even bother to try anymore.”

            “Technically, you haven't even done anything to try.”

            He glared at me, stealing my second cream puff. “Thanks. That helps a lot.”

            “Well? I'm just saying.”

            “Why were you guys over there anyway?”

            I looked up at him. “That's for me to know and for you not to.”

            “That didn't make any sense at all.”

            “It wasn't supposed to.” 

            He stole my other cream puff but I didn't care. “Do you want to dance or do you wish to continue to just stand here sulking?”

            He didn't say anything.

            “Fine. I'll be outside if you need me.”

            He ignored me, and I shrugged my shoulders, leaving him to pout. I made my way through crowds of people, all giggling and gossiping about other people's dresses, who they came with, and who they danced with. I tried my best to block this all out of my mind, but it was constantly there. I hurried to the automatic doors leading outside and once they closed, the thumping music dulled, the chatter evaporated, and I found that I could actually hear my own thoughts again. I sighed in relief, realizing that it was actually a nice night out. No one one was outside, seeing as all the dancing was inside, so it felt nice to be alone. I walked over to the large swimming pool and stood by the edge. I took off my shoes �" I didn't have any socks on underneath �" and carefully lifted my dress, stepping onto the first step into the shallow end of the pool. The cold water felt amazing on my warm feet and I closed my eyes, stepping onto the next level, letting the water flow up to my calf.

            “I'd be careful if I were you. That doesn't look like something I'd want to get wet.”

            I jumped, almost losing my balance, and my eyes flew to the direction of the voice. Out of the shadows stepped a figure and when my eyes travelled to his face, I felt my heart flutter. “Ethan.”

            He smiled, that breathtaking smile, and stepped forward, exposing his unmasked face. “Isabel.”

            I felt myself shiver. I forgot what it sounded like when he said my name. Low and deep. I blamed the shiver on the water. “What are you doing here?” I asked, stepping out of the water.

            “I wanted to see you again.”

            I stared at him while I walked to retrieve my shoes. He beat me to it, picking them up with one hand and held them out to me. I took them from him and slid them on, letting my dress fall back down, hovering along the ground.

            “What are you really doing here?” I tried again.

            “What? You don't believe that that's my reason for coming here?” He stepped forward, closing the small distance between us. I froze, staring at his chest as he lifted my chin up with his hand, forcing me to stare into his mesmerizing eyes. “Do you not remember the last time we were together?”

            I gulped. Why would he bring up such a thing? Of course I remembered last time. How could I not? I though about it every day, and fell asleep to it at night going over it in my head. How could I not forget that one cloudless night at the lake two years ago, when we spent the entire time laying beside each other on the dock, looking into the black and starry abyss as the gentle waves rocked the dock beneath us.

            “There's Orion.” I had said, pointing towards the famous constellation. The only ones I knew and recognized were Orion and The Big Dipper. An astronomer I was not.

            I remember turning to look at him, and saw that he was already looking at me. We had looked into each others eyes and I couldn't get over how stunning they were.

            “You have beautiful eyes.” I had said, the words spilling out.

            He had stayed still, his eyes flashing to my mouth. “You have a beautiful smile.”

            I remembered smiling after he said that.  I couldn't help it at all. In all the times we had been with each other since we met; laughing, sharing secrets, and going on adventures, he had never said anything that nice to me. Ever.

            I had felt myself leaning closer, as did he. He had taken his hand and moved a strand of hair out of my face, cradling it. I leaned into his touch, closing my eyes as I felt his rough, calloused hand stroke my cheek.

            “Isabel.” I had heard him whisper and I could feel him inching his way closer until-

            “Ethan? What are you doing man?” a voice had called from the shore.

            His hand had dropped from my cheek. He moved away from me, about as far as he could get without falling into the water. “Nothing dude. Just chillen' on the dock.”

            I remember feeling my heart sink.

            “Well you should come up. Me and the guys are going kayaking. You in?”

            I was staring at him, searching his eyes.

            I remember him giving me one last glance, a flash of something in his eyes. “Sure.” he had said, and the next thing I knew he was lifting himself off the dock, slipping on his sandals, and was gone.

            Leaving me alone, and cold.

            “Yes I remember.” I said, flashing back to reality. “I remember you taking off with Michael and leaving me on the dock.”

            “Which is why,” he said, taking my hand and holding it to my chest. “I came here to see you.” He looked down into my eyes. “What I did was stupid. It was-”

            I shrugged out of his grip, tugging my hand away and stepping back. “You shouldn't have come, Ethan.”

            His face fell. “Don't say that.”

            “Why not? You don't know what you did.” I pushed his chest away after he tried stepping closer. “You left me on that dock, when, moments before, we were just about to-” I paused. I really didn't want to say that word. “You made me feel special. Feel beautiful. Feel like there could be someone who might actually give a s**t about me. But you ripped that away the second you left. I just sat there, helpless as my heart shattered, watching you leave me as if it wasn't a big deal or anything. You broke hearts all the time, but I didn't care. Chelsea warned me that I'd get broken chasing you, but again, I could have cared less. But she was right. I was just another girl to fool around with, wasn't I? Just another name to add to and tick off on your infamous list.”

            He was quiet. My chest ached and I felt my eyes starting to tear up. But I was far from finished.

            “You hurt me, Ethan. I cared about you. And the crazy thing is, I still do. Don't ask me why after these past two years, I still have some feelings for the guy that broke me in a way I can't describe. I was fine not seeing you. That's why I didn't go to the lake this year. I got a job and kept myself occupied so I wouldn't have time to think of you. But I did anyways. Now you have to come and ruin everything.”

            At this point, tears were flowing down my face. I was glad Michelle used waterproof makeup, because by now, I would have definitely looked like a mess.

            “But you weren't just another girl, Isabel. You made me feel the same. You made me see things differently. I left because I was afraid. I didn't realize what I was getting myself into, but now I do.

            “I don't care.” I said quietly, closing my eyes so I wouldn't have to look into his.

            “After you left the lake without saying goodbye that summer, I was crushed. All I could think about these years was how I left you, and how much I regret not staying with you. I came here to apologize,”

            He was crushed because I didn't say goodbye? Millions of thoughts swam in my mind and I didn't want to have to think of any of them.

            “I came to say I'm sorry, and that I lo-”

            “Don't say it. Don't you dare say it.”

            “D****t, Isabel!” He grabbed onto my shoulders. I snapped my eyes open, staring deep into his. “I love you. I have since I saw you that summer at the lake.”

            “If you loved me why did you fool around with all those other girls?” I whispered.

            “They didn't mean anything to me. How was I supposed to know that you cared about me too?”

            I froze. “What makes you think I cared about you?”

            “When you said my eyes were beautiful, and when you were going to kiss me.”

            I shrugged out of his grasp, stumbling away.

            “I knew you liked me. Chelsea told me.”

            “Chelsea doesn't know anything.”

            “You hating me doesn't change how I feel for you.”

            “I don't hate you.” I found myself saying. My tears had finally stopped but my emotions were still raw.

            It looked like he was going to say something, but I turned away from him, hurrying back to the doors and to the dance inside. Ironic, because this time I was leaving him alone. As the doors opened, the music blasted at me. I tore off my mask. I didn't care about the stupid “unknowing” B.S. I stood there, searching for Josh. I spotted him talking to some of his friends from the hockey team. I quickly hurried towards them.

            “Josh, can you take me home, please.”

            “What?” he asked, turning to me.

            “I need to go home. You don't mind do you?”

            “Um, not really?”

            “Okay, good. Let's go.”

            “Are you alright?”

            “Doesn't matter.”

            I grabbed his arm and began dragging him towards the lobby doors.

            “Isabel, what's wrong?” asked Chelsea, arm in arm with Justin. I glanced at her, but at that moment, Ethan walked in from outside and she must have followed my gaze for she muttered a low “S**t.”

            Ethan's eyes met mine, but I looked away, continuing to drag Josh with me to the hotel entrance.

            “It's okay, Josh. Let me take Isabel home.”

            “No, Chelsea.” I stared at her in the eyes. A few seconds later, she nodded slowly, her mouth pressed in a straight line.

            “Okay.” she said, cradling her elbows. Chelsea always knew what I wanted. And right now that was to get the hell out of here.

            “Enjoy your Prom.” I said through a fake smile, and continued with Josh to the front doors. We walked outside and I started shivering. It wasn't that cold out. Josh got his truck, and he drove me home in silence.

            I said “Thanks.” when we arrived and hopped out of his truck, walking quickly to the door. I opened it, surprised to see my mother standing there.

            “Oh, how was it honey?”

            I ignored her, hurrying down the hall. I heard Josh rush inside and he began explaining things to my mother as best as he could. Poor guy had no idea.

            I threw the door open to my room and closed it gently behind me. I leaned my back against it, closing my eyes, already feeling the tears starting again. I started to slide down the door, sitting in a bundled heap on the floor and buried my face in my arms letting loose all the emotions that had been recovered from where I'd hid them a long time ago.

 

 

            I laid there on my bed, staring up at the ceiling.

            It was now almost two in the morning, but I still couldn't sleep. Around eight, I had picked myself off of the ground and removed my dress, slipping into my flannel pyjama pants, a tank top, and a sweater. I had carefully taken the pins out of my hair, letting the intact curls fall down my back and over my shoulders. I decided to leave them like that, because it looked nice. I had waited till my sister and mother went to bed to go into the bathroom and clean off my makeup, but that wasn't for a while, at least till midnight. Every half an hour they had come to the door, knocking, and each time I would ignore them. Finally they stopped, turning off the lights and leaving me in peace. Josh had called four times. Chelsea seven. Josh texted twice. Chelsea about ten. So I simply sent them both a text that stated: “I'm fine.” and shut off my phone.

            So here I was, laying on my bed under the covers, listening to the house settle and my lamp buzz. I didn't want to be submerged in darkness.

            Thoughts were still swirling around like a tidal pool and I didn't know which one to address first.

            Ethan loved me. That was the one that appeared the most. He came all the way up here, to apologize and tell me that he loved me.

            And I treated him horribly.

            Yes, I still cared about him. It was a big deal to me two years ago when he left. He was the first guy that I'd ever really had true feelings for. I thought it was the end of the world when he left me. He was eighteen at the time. Why would an eighteen year old want to be with a sixteen year old?

            I sat up in bed. Of course he was afraid. I was still in school and he had just graduated. Wouldn't that have been weird? Us together. We didn't even live in the same town.

            He would be twenty now, seeing as I was eighteen.

            What has he been doing for the past two years?
            And the biggest one of all:

            I loved him too.

            I knew it the moment I saw him that summer. He had changed over the past year. Grown taller, built more muscle in his arms and stomach. But it was something about how he smiled at me the day my mother, Michelle and I showed up at his family's cabin for the umpteenth time. Maybe it was how when he hugged me, he seemed to hold on just a little bit longer than before. Or when we went hiking how he helped me get up a steep part when he didn't before.

            He still fooled around with the local girls there. I'd watch as he'd drive them around in his boat, his jeep, or go for walks with them. But he was a guy. It's what they did.

            Was he trying to make me jealous?

            If so, it definitely worked.

            Suddenly, a few taps come on the window and my heart thudded to a stop. My room was on the ground floor so it was easy enough for someone to scramble into.

            A few more knocks came. I looked over to the window.

            “Isabel.” I heard a muffled voice  say.

            I ripped the covers off of me and pulled my sweater closer, inching towards the window. It was open, due to this springs warm weather. It was separated by a screen. I opened the curtain and peered outside. My heart regained its usual rhythm, then proceeded to speed up as soon as I saw who it was.

            “What are you doing, Ethan?” I whispered.

            “I wanted to tell you something.”

            I glanced at the clock, reading two-thirty one. “And you couldn't wait until a more reasonable hour?”

            I saw him shake his head. “Couldn't sleep.”

            I stared at him. “How did you even know which room was mine?”

            His face fell. “I figured that yours was the only one with a light on.”

            I sighed. “Meet my by the front door.” And I closed the curtain.

            I stood in the middle of my bedroom, arms crossed.

            Did I want to do this? I could still feel the ache of my chest from where his name had been plastered. Still was. Part of me wanted to leave him standing there, and crawl back into bed, or go to him and say goodbye, watching him leave for good. But another part wanted me to go and see what he had to say.

            I sighed, glancing at my reflection in the mirror above my dresser. My hair was still curly from Prom. I decided I looked alright. Why was I worrying about my appearance now?

            I decided that the best thing to do was put on a bra.

            I quietly opened the door and slowly walked through the house.  Mom and Michelle were probably asleep by now. At least I hoped so. I crept to the front door and slipped on a pair of flats that were resting on the doormat. I opened the door just enough so I could squeeze through, closing it securely. I turned around, seeing Ethan, hands at his side, dressed in his old leather jacket, his face lit by our porch light.

            Before I could ask what it was he wanted to say, he stepped forward in one swift motion, cradled my face in his hands, and leaned his head down to me, pressing his lips to mine.

            It was everything I'd imagined and more.

            I couldn't help it. As soon as his mouth pressed against mine, all the negative thoughts I had thought about him vanished as he kissed me hungrily.

            Moments later, he slowly pulled away, resting his forehead against mine. “That's what I should have done two years ago.” he whispered, his breath warm on my nose.

            I found that I was smiling. “Better late than never.” I said quietly.

            He lowered his hands and lifted his forehead off of mine. Before I knew it, I threw my arms around him, threading my fingers through his hair and stood on my toes, pulling him back down to me. He responded quickly, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me closer and kissing me with so much built up emotion I thought I was going to explode.

            I didn't realize until now, exactly how much I wanted this.

            “I'm sorry.” I said breathless, in between kisses.

            “Why, are you sorry?” he asked, resting his mouth on my jaw.

            “For leaving you today. I don't know what I was doing.”

            “Well, I guess we're even now.”

            I smiled and he lifted his head and stared into my eyes. His were probably the bluest I've ever seen. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, trailing his lips down to my cheek, along my jaw, until he paused on the corner of my mouth.

            “Why did you dye your hair black?” I asked, brushing my fingers through his shaggy bangs .

            “I thought it would be cool. I may have gone through an interesting stage when you left.”

            I noticed how his original blonde roots were starting to show. “That was stupid.” I said, seeing a small silver stud pierced in his ear. That was new.

            “I was stupid and naive back then.”

            “Does that make me stupid and naive?”

            “Yes, if you're wanting me.”

            I smiled, kissing him long and slow.

            He paused after I pulled away, biting my lip. “Definitely stupid and naive.”

            I laughed, pressing my head against his chest. “Does that make you smart and mature?”   

            He rested his head on mine, wrapping his arms tighter around me. “Not at all.”