Hey Driver

Hey Driver
Were you embraced by your mother as an infant
I wasn't, though I've fantasized  of it

Hey Driver
Did you run to your parent's bed for safety after a nightmare
I didn't but my life is a nightmare

Hey Driver
Did your daddy teach you to ride a bike
Mine didn't, hit the road hard with no one to catch me

Hey Driver
Did you go on family vacations
I didn't but I wondered off alone many times

Hey Driver
Have you ever been told I love you
I haven't but I heard its nice

Hey Driver
Did you see their blood when it vomited across your truck
I never saw it but I cut myself because I heard it's the same

Hey Driver
Did you hear their agonizing soon to be dead screams
I don't know their voices but they echo in my head at night

Hey Driver
Did any of their shredded skin stick to you
I never touched their skin but I would give the world for my hand to be held

Hey Driver
Did you say anything to them before they went pale
I never said anything to them but I scream at the sky sometimes

Hey Driver
Did you see the color of their eyes or were they blanketed with blood
I never did but I assume they were blue like mine

Hey Driver
Do you remember their faces
I don't but I had a photo for a while until I tossed it

Hey Driver
Did you know it was actually three lives you took that day
I did

Hey Driver
Did you sleep the night before
I did, it was the last I did

Reviews

[spiritwind]

I am stunned.
I'm supposed to review this--hard to do when you've made me speechless. And breathless. I caught on about half way through [around the family vacation verse] and wondered why it took me so long.
This is real poetry, Mr. Freedom's Child, but you know that. You'd have to know that. Only the real deal can write like this. Such anguish--but never turning into pathos. Such held-back anger building like a volcano. Such longing... you just wrote the epitaph for every family tragedy at the hands of a driver.
I think the repetition and the structure is perfect. Your words must be perfect--they echo in my head.

[Freedom's Child]

Thank you so much!

[lee von cleef]

Hey Driver ,good call out like slaves in the cotton field,boot camp cadence , rings you in to a sad truth.

[Freedom's Child]

Thanks!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This is a heartfelt piece. Perhaps a little drawn out and could have had better impact in a shorter version but it was a touching and sad piece. the use of metaphors is helpful in making an impact, 'vomited' for example. Fourth stanza a typo. 'wondered' should be 'wandered' I think?

[Freedom's Child]

Thank you and thank you for your critiques, I used wondered in an attempt to convey confusion, questioning, and a lack of understanding. I felt that wandered was more in lines with just not having a purpose.

[Baby Ricochet]

Wow. Pretty powerful stuff. I like the repetition of "Hey Driver" Pushes the stanzas home. Good one

[Freedom's Child]

Thanks!