For My Son

For My Son

A Poem by mattavelli
"

.

"
Sweet little boy, you're daddy's joy.
I've watched with so much pride;
from your first cries and opened eyes,
to now, learning your stride.

I watch you sleep, so very deep,
your head upon my chest;
and guess your dreams; it often seems,
they are the very best.

Your giggles make my hard heart shake.
That laugh has teared my eye.
I'm sure you'll be a bit like me;
damned handsome, honest guy.

And as you grow and off you go,
to walk your winding trail;
the things you'll learn, oh god, I yearn
to listen to that tale.


© 2015 mattavelli


Author's Note

mattavelli
"Doubledown Style 1 (or) Eights 'n Sixes"
Original form created by
Richard W. Jenkins
© 1 Apr 1987

Any number of 4-line verses about anything:
Aligned left or centered.

Syllable count per verse:
8/6/8/6

Rhyme scheme:
xxxaxxxa
xxxxxb
xxxcxxxc
xxxxxb

xxxdxxxd
xxxxxe
xxxfxxxf
xxxxxe

Etc...

Here is a link to his profile:
http://www.writerscafe.org/RichardJ
Aka Rascal on WC.

My Review

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Featured Review

Heart warming words for your son. Brimful with love. Really touching read and reminded me of how I feel about my year old grandson, the only baby now in the family. Well done mattavelli. Kudos on attempting such a complicated structure. Not easy to do.

Chris

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

1 Month Ago

Thanks for reading, Christine! :)
Chris

1 Month Ago

You are welcome.



Reviews

Such beautifully moving poem, and almost sing-song in its rhyming.... so very sweet Matt!

I feel the emotion in your poem, two sons and two daughters, all grown and walking their winding trails.... I am blessed that they share most of their experiences with me.



Posted 1 Month Ago


This is so touching and very beautifully written. Made me think of my little boy....many, many years ago! ~Sharon

Posted 1 Month Ago


Your Double down poem is beautiful, just like the boy you write of. Very delightful.

Posted 1 Month Ago


mattavelli

1 Month Ago

Thank you for reading, Cherrie! :)
Heart warming words for your son. Brimful with love. Really touching read and reminded me of how I feel about my year old grandson, the only baby now in the family. Well done mattavelli. Kudos on attempting such a complicated structure. Not easy to do.

Chris

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

1 Month Ago

Thanks for reading, Christine! :)
Chris

1 Month Ago

You are welcome.
Very sweet! This poem makes me smile. I also quite like the rhyme scheme. Makes me want to play around with it.

Posted 2 Months Ago


mattavelli

2 Months Ago

Thanks for reading, Summer, I like to write for my son. :)
If you try the rhyme, please let m.. read more
dear Rascal... your poetry is ❤️ heartwarming
in so many ways. When my son was born, I read that his wife some day would take up where I left off. But in reality we learn from each other always. gently, Pat

Posted 11 Months Ago


mattavelli

10 Months Ago

Hello, Patricia, thanks for reading! I am not Rascal.
Patricia Wedel

10 Months Ago

dear Matt... forgive me... I do not know how I
came up with that name. truly, Pat
Love this babies grow old we age they grow up we wonder where the time went thanks so much for this beautiful poem

Posted 2 Years Ago


mattavelli

2 Years Ago

Thank you for reading, Julie! :)
"I'm sure you'll be a bit like me; / damned handsome, honest guy." I haven't yet seen a lovelier, more fitting use of damned or simply curse words than this. It made me chuckle with a light warmth inside. It's amazing how you created such a natural piece when bound by syllables of a certain poetic form, but regardless, I felt your love for your son.

Posted 2 Years Ago


I love the feeling behind your poem. You put emotion into it, and that is what makes a good writer. I really liked the story that your poem told, it filled me with a lot of emotion. There are a few things I do have to say. First, I notice some people are nagging on the syllable count. I, for one, don't think it is bad. It is perfectly fine. The thing I did notice was your rhyming. Maybe just try and get the rhyming even throughout your poem. Otherwise, I really enjoyed it! Have a wonderful day!

Posted 2 Years Ago


mattavelli

2 Years Ago

Hey, lily, thanks for reading. Reading other reviews can be confusing. Haha... There is nothing wron.. read more
I find writing about my kiddo's easy. All the ideas are there.
This was sweet and that little dude is lucky to have you.

Posted 3 Years Ago


mattavelli

3 Years Ago

Thanks, Diane! :)
I really like him. Haha
Diane

3 Years Ago

lol I hope so. Hes darling

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Added on June 1, 2015
Last Updated on June 1, 2015

Author

mattavelli
mattavelli

FL



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LIFE IS A PARTY. DON'T BE A PINATA. ------------------- Hello, Thanks for visiting my page. I'm Matt. I enjoy reading and writing poetry. If you have a poem that you'd like me to read, please let.. more..

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