For My Son

For My Son

A Poem by mattavelli
"

.

"
Sweet little boy, you're daddy's joy.
I've watched with so much pride;
from your first cries and opened eyes,
to now, learning your stride.

I watch you sleep, so very deep,
your head upon my chest;
and guess your dreams; it often seems,
they are the very best.

Your giggles make my hard heart shake.
That laugh has teared my eye.
I'm sure you'll be a bit like me;
damned handsome, honest guy.

And as you grow and off you go,
to walk your winding trail;
the things you'll learn, oh god, I yearn
to listen to that tale.


© 2015 mattavelli


Author's Note

mattavelli
"Doubledown Style 1 (or) Eights 'n Sixes"
Original form created by
Richard W. Jenkins
© 1 Apr 1987

Any number of 4-line verses about anything:
Aligned left or centered.

Syllable count per verse:
8/6/8/6

Rhyme scheme:
xxxaxxxa
xxxxxb
xxxcxxxc
xxxxxb

xxxdxxxd
xxxxxe
xxxfxxxf
xxxxxe

Etc...

Here is a link to his profile:
http://www.writerscafe.org/RichardJ
Aka Rascal on WC.

My Review

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Featured Review

I like the poem not for any syllable count that you may have used. I could care less. I like it because of the warmth in your heart for your son. The thoughts, the feelings and the love that surrounds your poem as you put it together for publishing. Bravo, man.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Perkele.7885

5 Years Ago

Well thank you! That is nice to know!
Perkele.7885

5 Years Ago

Hmmmm, If You say so! I can't see any echo of me there but, you are the writer here!
mattavelli

5 Years Ago

Ya, I wrote it.



Reviews

dear Rascal... your poetry is ❤️ heartwarming
in so many ways. When my son was born, I read that his wife some day would take up where I left off. But in reality we learn from each other always. gently, Pat

Posted 1 Week Ago


mattavelli

5 Days Ago

Hello, Patricia, thanks for reading! I am not Rascal.
Patricia Wedel

5 Days Ago

dear Matt... forgive me... I do not know how I
came up with that name. truly, Pat
Love this babies grow old we age they grow up we wonder where the time went thanks so much for this beautiful poem

Posted 1 Year Ago


mattavelli

1 Year Ago

Thank you for reading, Julie! :)
"I'm sure you'll be a bit like me; / damned handsome, honest guy." I haven't yet seen a lovelier, more fitting use of damned or simply curse words than this. It made me chuckle with a light warmth inside. It's amazing how you created such a natural piece when bound by syllables of a certain poetic form, but regardless, I felt your love for your son.

Posted 1 Year Ago


I love the feeling behind your poem. You put emotion into it, and that is what makes a good writer. I really liked the story that your poem told, it filled me with a lot of emotion. There are a few things I do have to say. First, I notice some people are nagging on the syllable count. I, for one, don't think it is bad. It is perfectly fine. The thing I did notice was your rhyming. Maybe just try and get the rhyming even throughout your poem. Otherwise, I really enjoyed it! Have a wonderful day!

Posted 1 Year Ago


mattavelli

1 Year Ago

Hey, lily, thanks for reading. Reading other reviews can be confusing. Haha... There is nothing wron.. read more
I find writing about my kiddo's easy. All the ideas are there.
This was sweet and that little dude is lucky to have you.

Posted 2 Years Ago


mattavelli

2 Years Ago

Thanks, Diane! :)
I really like him. Haha
Diane

2 Years Ago

lol I hope so. Hes darling
One of the best "daddy" poems I've ever read! Your observations are down-to-earth & true-to-life with a ton of sentimental feeling to carry your observations along. Excellent use of poetic form which also enhances your message & meaning. The last two lines are very impactful, leaving us with an expanding curiosity as to what might be ahead for you both! *smile* Fondly, Margie

Posted 2 Years Ago


mattavelli

2 Years Ago

Thank you, Barleygirl! :)
His was a fun form to try.
Everything about this poem feels so jovial. ^_^

Keep up the good work.

Posted 3 Years Ago


mattavelli

3 Years Ago

Thanks, Mercy! :)
Nice - Work! Love the way it flows! Well done!

Posted 3 Years Ago


mattavelli

3 Years Ago

Thank you, emi! :)
"Your giggles make my hard heart shake" sums up this piece perfectly. Even amongst the chaos of life today, there are those that can still bring a tear to a glass eye, when we look at innocence and beauty we brought into the world, and hope for a better tomorrow for them all. Lovely piece my friend.

Posted 3 Years Ago


mattavelli

3 Years Ago

Thank you, Nemo! :)

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Added on June 1, 2015
Last Updated on June 1, 2015

Author

mattavelli
mattavelli

FL



About
LIFE IS A PARTY. DON'T BE A PINATA. ------------------- Hello, Welcome to My page. I'm Matt. I enjoy reading and writing poetry. If you have a poem that you'd like me to read, please let me know .. more..

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