Morbid World

Morbid World

A Poem by mattavelli
"

Vilanelle

"
I ask you, what is precious anymore,
when apathy shines bright amid the gloom...
what in this morbid world do you stand for?

How can we treat our planet as a w***e,
no rest, our sons are entering the room...
I ask you, what is precious anymore?

How does a man proclaim a holy war
and place the helpless in the path of doom...
what in this morbid world do you stand for?

How can an open mind escape the gore,
when a woman kills the child in her womb...
I ask you, what is precious anymore?

how is it charity's perceived a chore...
does having gold make right, as we presume...
what in this morbid world do you stand for?

When people of the world choose to ignore
their feelings and promote the thoughts of whom,
I ask you, what is precious anymore...
what in this morbid world do you stand for?


© 2016 mattavelli


Author's Note

mattavelli
I played a bit with amphiboly in the last two stanzas.

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Reviews

Ho-ly kwap!! This is one of the best, if not THE best villanelle I have ever read! Fantastic lines, poetic beyond belief! "....and promote the thoughts of whom"....that "whom" is not quite expressing what you want to say, and even read, it sounds pretty much like it was only placed to conform with the rhyme scheme. The poem is utterly perfect otherwise! Well done!

Posted 3 Years Ago


mattavelli

3 Years Ago

Thank you for the compliments, emi! :)

Does the section read better with this change .. read more
emipoemi

3 Years Ago

it's not the punctuation that's the problem, it's the word "whom", which doesn't quite fit in the co.. read more
mattavelli

3 Years Ago

Hello again! Thanks for the feedback.
In that section I'm asking what's important to you, wh.. read more
WoW!!!!
truthful and powerful......
the haunting question remains: "what in this morbid world do you stand for? "
loved it!!!
:)

Posted 4 Years Ago


mattavelli

4 Years Ago

Thank you, Pushkar. :)
Pushkar Prabhat

4 Years Ago

you are welcome...........!!! :) :)
You pose some very thoughtful questions so eloquently and with good form.
This makes me feel a bit sad for all the wrong we do and have had done. Senseless bs mostly.
Good poem Matt.

Posted 4 Years Ago


mattavelli

4 Years Ago

Thanks, Ana. :)
I'm adding photos to my poems. The photo I attached to this one is of a ticke.. read more
Matching Socks

4 Years Ago

Haha! That is hilarious, and somehow fitting. :)
mattavelli

4 Years Ago

And I changed it... too many photos to choose from. I'm bad with long menus too. Haha
This is really done nicely Matt, in both form and content..I often wonder about what has happened to.society and the world views ...what is precious anymore indeed.? Seems no One cares about anything in this throw away World...

Posted 4 Years Ago


mattavelli

4 Years Ago

Hi Fran, thanks for reading. :)
I think "throw away world" hit the nail on the head.
I like the idea that you are creating here - making us as readers challenge things in our everyday lives or the people that surround us. Will we be able to stand our ground when the time comes for those things precious and important to us, or will we shrink in the shadows of those whose voices echo louder than ours? Because this piece does ask us to reach deep inside ourselves and find the answers to the questions that this poem provokes, I wonder if it would be stronger if you wrote these questions in the form of an experience that the speaker might have instead of outright saying what the question is. Why not give a voice to that unborn soul, or someone seeing that mother in passing who knows her secret? Why not give that helpless solider a voice so we can feel and see the anguish and pain that makes us question what is important and shows us how our thinking has become morbid enough that this really is a reality for us and not just thought provoking questions? Just some food for thought.

+YourMidnightSecret+

Posted 4 Years Ago


mattavelli

4 Years Ago

Thanks for reading and the suggestion. :)
Your "experiences" would probably make for a better.. read more
Experimenting with forms and elements of poetry is a good thing. I can feel your frustration in this and it is justified. There are terrible things out there that--are and have--taken place in this world that are in opposition to anything sane or worthy. And each year more and more unjust acts are committed.

And the world keeps turning.

Great poem Matt.

Posted 4 Years Ago


mattavelli

4 Years Ago

Thanks for reading, Relic. :)
I like to try new things.
The collective "we" started .. read more
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A poem of deep questions, Mattavelli.

I can feel the anxiety and frustration of the poet in this piece. He is not alone in thinking the world has become so morbid that it has lost sight of its moral soul.
I am not a strict follower of poetic structure or style, I prefer to let the content of a poem do its talking.
This poem has an important message for us. We need to have a long hard look at ourselves, before it ls to late.
Nice work.

Posted 4 Years Ago


mattavelli

4 Years Ago

Thanks for reading, Doodley.
You are becoming very talented in the different forms of poetry you take on. This is another example and not familiar with.

Posted 4 Years Ago


andrew mitchell

4 Years Ago

you are welcome. I have read your different styles of writing and suggestions to others.
mattavelli

4 Years Ago

Ya, the forms turn writing poems into puzzles. I think I'm a bit OCD. Throughout the day Im thinking.. read more
andrew mitchell

4 Years Ago

I like Brevity like 5 7 5 format or just short free verse. I should really study techniques but I ne.. read more
Your poems are fantastic, this one hit home with me with what is going on in this world. Keep up the amazing work! Excited to read more of your pieces!

Posted 4 Years Ago


mattavelli

4 Years Ago

Thank you, Treylee. :)
This one is a villanelle. It is a fun form to write.
Treylee

4 Years Ago

I may have to try it out sometime! Love the flow :)
Congratulations on placing in the " So many Morons, so little time" contest!

Instagram user name "reese_customsandart"

Look forward to more of your skills in the future ahead!

Posted 4 Years Ago


mattavelli

4 Years Ago

Thank you, Tobias. :)

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37 Reviews
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Added on August 12, 2015
Last Updated on April 21, 2016

Author

mattavelli
mattavelli

FL



About
LIFE IS A PARTY. DON'T BE A PINATA. ------------------- Hello, Welcome to My page. I'm Matt. I enjoy reading and writing poetry. If you have a poem that you'd like me to read, please let me know .. more..

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