Morbid World

Vilanelle

I ask you, what is precious anymore,
when apathy shines bright amid the gloom...
what in this morbid world do you stand for?

How can we treat our planet as a w***e,
no rest, our sons are entering the room...
I ask you, what is precious anymore?

How does a man proclaim a holy war
and place the helpless in the path of doom...
what in this morbid world do you stand for?

How can an open mind escape the gore,
when a woman kills the child in her womb...
I ask you, what is precious anymore?

how is it charity's perceived a chore...
does having gold make right, as we presume...
what in this morbid world do you stand for?

When people of the world choose to ignore
their feelings and promote the thoughts of whom,
I ask you, what is precious anymore...
what in this morbid world do you stand for?

Author's Note

I played a bit with amphiboly in the last two stanzas.

Reviews

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Aaaaaaaaand this is why I love sci-fi fantasy. Escape the morbid world we live in at least once a day. The world is crazy. People are lost and self forgotten and who can blame them. But about your poem... it's very aptly put into words. Your question was repetitive but sinks in at the end ever more. Again, well done. Tyfs

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Cyprian! :)

[Relic]

Experimenting with forms and elements of poetry is a good thing. I can feel your frustration in this and it is justified. There are terrible things out there that--are and have--taken place in this world that are in opposition to anything sane or worthy. And each year more and more unjust acts are committed.

And the world keeps turning.

Great poem Matt.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Relic. :)
I like to try new things.
The collective "we" started the fire. :p

[.]

A poem of deep questions, Mattavelli.

I can feel the anxiety and frustration of the poet in this piece. He is not alone in thinking the world has become so morbid that it has lost sight of its moral soul.
I am not a strict follower of poetic structure or style, I prefer to let the content of a poem do its talking.
This poem has an important message for us. We need to have a long hard look at ourselves, before it ls to late.
Nice work.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Doodley.

[andrew mitchell]

You are becoming very talented in the different forms of poetry you take on. This is another example and not familiar with.

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Andrew. :)

[andrew mitchell]

you are welcome. I have read your different styles of writing and suggestions to others.

[mattavelli]

Ya, the forms turn writing poems into puzzles. I think I'm a bit OCD. Throughout the day Im thinking up phrases that fit the meter and rhyme. It Takes the place of my weirder habits. Haha
Do you have a favorite style to write in?

[andrew mitchell]

I like Brevity like 5 7 5 format or just short free verse. I should really study techniques but I never do!

[Treylee]

Your poems are fantastic, this one hit home with me with what is going on in this world. Keep up the amazing work! Excited to read more of your pieces!

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Treylee. :)
This one is a villanelle. It is a fun form to write.

[Treylee]

I may have to try it out sometime! Love the flow :)

[Tobias H. Reese]

Congratulations on placing in the " So many Morons, so little time" contest!

Instagram user name "reese_customsandart"

Look forward to more of your skills in the future ahead!

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Tobias. :)

[Ashley Renegade]

Thought provoking and truthful! A wonderful read!

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Ashley! I haven't written anything in a while... trying to think of more upbeat topics. :p

[Ashley Renegade]

I have actually been in a bit of a dry spell myself. Most of what I have posted is older stuff! I am sure you will find your inspiration soon!

[Amory Grey]

This is powerful, I truly enjoyed reading it. Splendid poem

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Amory.

[Amory Grey]

Don't mention it mate; I cannot write poetry to safe my life, so I enjoy reading it

[dan]

An evocative piece couched in the swaddling clothes of social commentary, you raise many valid questions. You lay them bare, asking that they be gathered up and answered by the reader. That is the explicit and overt purpose of social commentary: don't answer the questions, toss them out to the crowd. A very deep piece, well done. take care...dan

[Indra Neil]

a profound and thought provoking write, that is superbly crafted! congrats *claps*

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Indra. :)

[Indra Neil]

u r welcome! :)

[Daniel Valentine Rivera]

Well deserved of that first place title. Congratulations

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Daniel.