Ballade for Denial

Ballade

Should you attempt to ease my pain,
take warning, mine's a toxic brew,
with any spillage sure to stain
and burn its noxious way down through
those armored plates protecting you,
concealing that soft heart beneath,
a treat this beast will slowly chew...
the hopes left stuck between sharp teeth.

My dark mind's torn and hardly sane,
left barren since her love withdrew,
and charities would but profane
those memories I hold askew,
those cloudy thoughts of love so true,
those daggers hid in yearning's sheath
that slice when others misconstrue...
the hopes left stuck between sharp teeth.

Go hang from your damned sugarchain
of coaxes meant to help renew.
There are no passions to regain.
There's nothing left here to imbue.
My shattered rose rejects your glue.
It's not a blossom for your wreath.
So, toss your thoughts of breaking through...
the hope's left stuck between sharp teeth.

And, if a doubt remains as to
the character that's underneath,
then tease my shell and watch me spew
the hopes left stuck between sharp teeth.

Author's Note

I let the idea of writing a ballade tumble around in my head for about a week, then wrote it all in one late night go. Why did a monster pop out?
Please let me know what you think.

Check out this link for an explanation of the ballade form and a lovely poem.
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/RichardJ/1619403/

Reviews

[Bhuyanshi Talukdar]

Your poem is raw and emotional. The imagery and language used to describe your pain and the toxicity of your emotions are powerful. Your use of repetition in the poem emphasizes the idea that the hope you have left is fragile and easily shattered. The message of the poem is clear: you are in pain and you do not want anyone to try to ease it. The last stanza is particularly striking, as it suggests that others should be cautious in approaching you because of the intensity of your emotions. Overall, the poem is well-written and conveys a strong message about the complexities of pain and the difficulty of healing.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, and the feedback! :)

[MiracleMagazine]

Quite intense. Love the flow of it!

I'm from Miracle Magazine and we are open for submissions for our second issue right now. You write really well, do send around your work. Here is our website's link:

http://miraclemagazineind.wix.com/miracleindia

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading and the interest, but I'm not from India.

[BLitZeD]

A+ Bro. your flow was solid and good vocabulary usage. im impressed. keep it up man

[mattavelli]

Thanks, B! :)

[Scrap]

Excellent. Beautifully written. It's English I would study!

[mattavelli]

Thanks! If you try this form, please let me know. I'd like to read it. 😃

[Scrap]

Goodness! I dont think my English is good enough.

[AliciaB]

Wow. This is really intense, and really good. My favorite lines: "take warning, mine's a toxic brew"... "and charities would but profane / those memories I hold askew"... "There are no passions to regain. / There's nothing left here to imbue. / My shattered rose rejects your glue. / It's not a blossom for your wreath." Very strong imagery, and I love the repetition of "the hope left stuck between sharp teeth" and how you played upon that in the last stanza. And I understand the whole monster popping out late at night thing - some of my most, let's call it, "interesting" writing has been written around one in the morning. :)

[mattavelli]

Thank you for reading and the feedback, Alicia. I'm a night owl too. :)

[θεά]

You've unscrewed the armor and let it be ripped open to the luscious, vulnerable starkness of the kernel.
Very provocative piece of writing. The first paragraph is effective in setting the mood of the rest of the verses.

Good work, Mattaveli.

Best, M.

[mattavelli]

Thank you for the feedback, Mallika. :)
I'm not sure if the first section is more than a sentence, as my punctuation is getting worse and worse. Haha. I blame the technology.
Have you tried the Ballade form?

[θεά ]

I wouldn't know. I am not a trained writer of poetry, and rules of meter generally escape me. Though Lord Tennyson was a fascinating writer of ballads, wasn't he? :)

[softlyfall]

This is just excellent. The images are universal but you give them clarity and new life. really good.

[mattavelli]

Thanks, I like this one too. :)
I chose to describe the behavior of someone hanging on to something lost. The poem wrote itself.

[softlyfall]

Poe would relate to this brooding and sinister voice.

[softlyfall]

Good luck in the contest, Matthew.

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Amy. :)
Have you tried any contests?

[softlyfall]

Yes. I have...but, well the reason I have never used my degrees in art as a means of making a living is that I lack the necessary competitive edge. I usually flit... I write until I am satisfied, then create visual art for an interim, however long...once I spent a couple of years inventing recipes lol

[mattavelli]

I love food the most! What's on the menu?

[softlyfall]

I just this morning thought...I think Spumoni pie would be yummy, so I figured it out.

[mattavelli]

Ooh! I used to get waffles stuffed with ice cream, but that place is too far.

[Miss Sharon]

Wowser! You've done the form well and the repeating final line in each stanza is very effective. Your meter and rhyme I find to be captivating as well as beautifully written and expressed. On a scale from 1 to 10 I give it a 10+! ~Sharon

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Sharon. :)
It was a difficult form to plan for, with thirteen words that rhyme with each other. Finishing it was very satisfying. I'd like to write more of these.

[Weeping willow]

Wonderful expression,it's quite the write,filled with strong emotions,flows very well,it's amazing that you wrote it in one night.Keep ink flowing.

[mattavelli]

Thank you for the feedback. :)
I haven't written a poem since this one... a few months... I'm uninspired. Haha

[Gabriel]

This is a great poem Matt.. very nice flow and quite intense. It's a different poetry from my own, so I'm no expert.. but I think it's written very well indeed. Rhyme is spot on as well. Thanks for asking for my opinion.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for the feedback, Gabriel!

[Gabriel]

No Problem. Take care.

[ANTO]

The sharp teeth line is quite the hook Matt.
I love the frill of the Will Shakespearean lingo interspersed with the dark Poe-esque wit.
Top write.

my thoughts:
A monster popped out because you have a monster filter, I think. Much like the way the photographer adds a filter to the lens (or in post-production) I think you deliberately added the monster filter albeit subconsciously. And because your a sick puppy ... Joking lol.