Summer Morning

Summer Morning

A Poem by mattavelli
"

Pantoum form

"

My wife and son chase butterflies
in the mornings of summer days.
Beneath the South Florida skies,
I watch as my family plays.

In the mornings of summer days,
my worries glide off with the breeze.
I watch as my family plays,
while I relax beneath shade trees.

My worries glide off with the breeze.
They drift to join the building storm,
while I relax beneath shade trees,
on days when morning seems so warm.

They drift to join the building storm,
those pressures rattling their cage,
on days when morning seems so warm,
I wait for the thundering rage.

Those pressures rattling their cage,
where sea breeze meets the heat of day;
I wait for the thundering rage,
while all my cares just float away.

Where sea breeze meets the heat of day,
beneath the South Florida skies;
while all my cares just float away,
my wife and son chase butterflies.

© 2016 mattavelli


Author's Note

mattavelli
This was my first attempt at the pantoum form. It took a while to get the ending how I wanted it. Please let me know what you think.

"PANTOUM

A poem in a fixed form, consisting of a varying number of four-line stanzas with lines rhyming alternately; the second and fourth lines of each stanza are repeated to form the first and third lines of the succeeding stanza, with the first and third lines of the first stanza forming the second and fourth of the last stanza, but in reverse order, so that the opening and closing lines of the poem are identical."
http://www.poeticbyway.com/

My Review

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Featured Review

interesting structure and rhyme here; I'm familiar with South Florida skies and one minute is is hot and sunny with high humidity, next minute a thunder bolt , lightning and pouring rain, then sun and hot!!! It keeps repeating itself, especially in summer. But these quick bursts don't seem to bother you or your family as they chase butterflies and you are in "gaga land", caring not about the weather, just dreaming on.....
Best, B

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

1 Month Ago

Thanks for reading, Betty! :)



Reviews

I know very little about poetry, but like the way you've written this. There's something soothing about it, but with chaos just out of range. Having lived on the Texas gulf coast for several years, I felt a familiarity.

Posted 3 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

3 Days Ago

Thanks for reading, Samuel! :)
interesting structure and rhyme here; I'm familiar with South Florida skies and one minute is is hot and sunny with high humidity, next minute a thunder bolt , lightning and pouring rain, then sun and hot!!! It keeps repeating itself, especially in summer. But these quick bursts don't seem to bother you or your family as they chase butterflies and you are in "gaga land", caring not about the weather, just dreaming on.....
Best, B

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

1 Month Ago

Thanks for reading, Betty! :)
Lovely as always and to know this was a first attempt at such an interesting (but challenging) style, is impressive! x

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

1 Month Ago

Thanks for reading, L! :)
Talented writer to captivate while following rules. Well done. I was so taken by the rhymes and poetry of it all that I didn't even focus on the form you wrote it in. But it does seem right not that I have read your note. Nicely done, Poet. Keep it up.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

1 Month Ago

Thanks for reading, Cyprian! :)
I think you have far more patience than me mattavelli. You do form so well. This is an endearing write of a family spending time together. Visually pleasing and calming. Nice work. I love butterflies.

Chris

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris

1 Month Ago

I enjoy reading poems a second time. There is always something new to reflect on. Good luck with yo.. read more
mattavelli

1 Month Ago

Ya, its a tragedy. He was a great poet, only 15 years old. Check out his writing.
https://www.. read more
Chris

1 Month Ago

Fifteen? Oh my, that is devastating. Will take a look. Thank you.
Bravo!
You mastered the pantoum perfectly and I thoroughly enjoyed the sweet innocence of your theme.
I've attempted pantoum from time to time... you have inspired me to try it again.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

2 Months Ago

Great! I'd like to read it. :)
Well done you for experimenting with form. I have never tried a pantoum. This was uplifting, gave me some lovely visuals and a sense of happiness and contentment.

My wife and son chase butterflies.

Perfectly lovely. The lull before a storm.

Chris

Posted 2 Months Ago


mattavelli

2 Months Ago

Thanks for reading, Christine! :)
If you write a pantoum, let me know. I'd like to read it.
Chris

2 Months Ago

.... you may have a long wait my friend. I am not as brave as you :)
I never thought about having that ingenious pattern with your repeated lines across the stanzas and how they unite together💙 the resignation and peace you portray while aware of a coming storm is also beautiful as well. Thank you, precious one 💖.

Posted 2 Months Ago


mattavelli

2 Months Ago

Hello, Shidare, thanks for reading! :)
I've only written two pantoums. They are a puzzle to p.. read more
Not sure if I commented on this poem in the past or not. It is really lovely, and I'm impressed with the tension and contrast you get between the carefree sunny day and the coming thunderstorm. Pantoum are not easy to write, so your first attempt is a huge success! Have you written any more of them?

Posted 1 Year Ago


mattavelli

1 Year Ago

Thanks, Roland! :)
I have one posted here, titled Pantoum, and a couple more that I've been p.. read more
I love the pantoum form.... well done !

Posted 2 Years Ago


Stella Armour

2 Years Ago

My pleasure, there is a pantoum in my poems if you would like to read it sometime ..
mattavelli

2 Years Ago

Sure, I'll check it out. :)
Stella Armour

2 Years Ago

Great ... i hope you enjoy reading it :)

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Added on June 4, 2016
Last Updated on June 5, 2016

Author

mattavelli
mattavelli

FL



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LIFE IS A PARTY. DON'T BE A PINATA. ------------------- Hello, Thanks for visiting my page. I'm Matt. I enjoy reading and writing poetry. If you have a poem that you'd like me to read, please let.. more..

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