my heart is black

my heart is black

A Poem by Amidrea Ming
"

>>inserts black heart emoji

"

oh, how love burns


my heart is

black

marshmallow sweet but 

singed and scorched dark

it crumbles into the wind

like burnt paper edges


flyaway ashes,

find me a blacksmith prince

he will forge me a heart of gold 

indestructibly heavy in my chest

so i can't possibly 

lose it to love again


xx 

© 2018 Amidrea Ming


Author's Note

Amidrea Ming
open to any suggestions on slight wording change that could make this flow even better or become more powerful

My Review

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Featured Review

You asked for suggestions and I have obliged: your write is beautifully and exquisite as it stands, but please view my revamped interpretation of your piece!

Oh, how bad love burns

My blazing heart is
Black
Marshmallow sweet but
Singed and scorched sinister

It crumbles yielding to the wind
Like burnt light paper edges

Flyaway soot ashes
And find a blacksmith prince
He will forge a golden heart
Indestructibly heavy into my chest

So I cannot possibly
Lose it to love again

Hope this is to your approval - :-)

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Amidrea Ming

1 Year Ago

oh wow! love your edit *~* thank you for your version, it is vivid



Reviews

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'
Right in the relatibility gland, d****t. Nice work, beautifully dark.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Am agreed to the suggestions of Phill Oz O'fee and that was really appreciating.....
And the writing that you made first is just made me feel that black heart!
Even if it needs construction still it lives among the wow writings carrying it's true pain...
Great read😊

Posted 1 Year Ago


The imagery of this piece is spectacular, I actually saw the heart crumble and fly away like ash in the wind.. It made me teary-eyed as I felt the heat and emotion of the piece sinking my own heart. I love how you challenge love to hurt you with new found resolve in an armour of defiance from being hurt by the one thing that's supposed to heal. I genuinely love this poem a whole bunch. It's short but says so much, great job, wouldn't change a thing!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Amidrea Ming

1 Year Ago

this means a lot to me... a lot was put into this poem and i'm glad you can feel it
You asked for suggestions and I have obliged: your write is beautifully and exquisite as it stands, but please view my revamped interpretation of your piece!

Oh, how bad love burns

My blazing heart is
Black
Marshmallow sweet but
Singed and scorched sinister

It crumbles yielding to the wind
Like burnt light paper edges

Flyaway soot ashes
And find a blacksmith prince
He will forge a golden heart
Indestructibly heavy into my chest

So I cannot possibly
Lose it to love again

Hope this is to your approval - :-)

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Amidrea Ming

1 Year Ago

oh wow! love your edit *~* thank you for your version, it is vivid
I think it is powerful the way it is, I like your choice of words and how descriptive it gets.. Bravo, well done..

Posted 1 Year Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Amidrea Ming

1 Year Ago

thank you so much c:

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263 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Added on May 29, 2018
Last Updated on May 29, 2018

Author

Amidrea Ming
Amidrea Ming

CA



About
20 i just write sometimes to cope with how i feel don't mind me, my depression, and my broken heart through writing and music, i hope to heal until then, welcome to my sadness more..

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