Forbidden

Forbidden

A Book by Megan Step
"

"This is now bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'Woman', for she was taken out of man" -Gensis 2:21

"

© 2011 Megan Step


Author's Note

Megan Step
Grace Millar, a teenage girl who could read any book and know everything in it, got the shock of her life when she received a call from the Dean of the most elite high school in the country, Jones Academy of Excellence, about attending next fall. It didn't take long for her family to leave their whole life in Fort Mount, Maine and move to a rural town of Hangbrick, Massachuesetts.

As a few months go by at Grace's new high school, she meets a mysterious, intoxicating boy, Keegan Wild, who seems to know everything about her. Grace begins to feel a magnetic pull towards Keegan, wanting to know more and more about him. But she soon realizes that he holds her deepest that she doesn't even know.

(I hope you enjoy my book, and please don't be afraid to suggest changes, or call me out on my grammar. Which by the way was my worst subject in English.)

My Review

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Reviews

Megan, first off, I love your use of imagery. Since I've only read what you've written of the first chapter so far, I understand that your plot summary involves much of what I haven't read yet, so I will only critique what I have read.

I am not one to nitpick over small grammatical errors, and as you have stated, you recognize that grammar is not your strong point. I would like to congratulate you thus far on your use of vivid imagery and the air of mystery you have established in this first chapter. These strengths far outweigh minor things that can be resolved later.

A couple things I would like to point out are: In the first paragraph, the images of Grace's dress are identical in the fact that they involve the wind whipping through it. I would scratch that second reference to the dress, keep the wind whipping in Grace's hair, and retain that compelling "tribal dance" imagery. It fits so nicely with facets of the seemingly supernatural dream-boy. It gives him a more feral, sexy mystique when combined with your description of his body heat causing Grace's pulse to quicken.

The fact that this dream is recurring makes it seem more ritualistic as well. You have a great way of pulling this reader in. I want to read more about this mysterious, supernatural relationship between the characters.

The last little point I wanted to make is that I don't like the word "omniscient" describing the rocks below in paragraph four. Maybe you meant "looming" or "ever-present." For whatever reason you chose that word, I would consider changing it.

Overall, you've done a great job piquing my interest. I was blown away by your description of the school and its architecture. I find the "shadowy" Mrs. Wexford intriguing, and I can't wait to see you develop these characters.

Great job! Keep it up!

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Posted 12 Years Ago


Dove, the idea is excellent, but if you read over your plot summary, you will realise that you have multiple errors, as Lou said. I advise that you read over it.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Just wanted to point this out - your mini-synopsis has multiple errors in it. You should probably proofread it again, before you go public with the story.

-Lou
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Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

First of all, please give your book a name. . Although, it's a great idea, for the chapter. .

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on July 15, 2011
Last Updated on August 3, 2011
Tags: Grace Millar, elite high school, title: unknown, unknown

Author

Megan Step
Megan Step

Gilbert, AZ



About
div { text-align: center; } Remember This Name: Megan Step It will be on the shelves of Barnes and Noble, one day. I'm Megan. a teenage girl who lived all her life in the hottest pla.. more..

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