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Everytime I see him

Everytime I see him

A Story by Angelove

Every time I see him, think of him, walk or talk to him all the blood rushes to my ears, pounding sounds in my head. My cheeks flush red. I can’t hear anything. All I see is him. Why is this so? It isn’t right, it will never work. No matter how much I feel for him I can’t get him out of my head. Same goes with the other.

Is it possible to love both? Or do I just think I love the other…He’s here, the other isn’t. I love him, them…nothing I do is right. So I ignore the one that is here with me, I stick to the one I’ve shared so much with, my feelings. I stick to him because I know that he likes me back, that we might have a chance when I know the other is out of my league. Both are older…one by a year or two, the other about ten…

I’m a horrible person. I can’t pick. I won’t pick. I’ll go with what I want to go with and I want the one who is far away. Though I may never seem him I have faith that one day…one day we will love each other in person. I will always think of the other and love him secretly, fantasies about him secretly but I have to go for the one who I know loves me back.

But he’s on my mind, these thoughts aren’t supposed to be here. It’s not appropriate. GO AWAY! Leave me alone, get out of my head…he makes me melt. He talked to me. He said it was good to see you again…the blood rushes to my ears and I just say hi. I’m vulnerable. I look vulnerable…he can see it…

We’ve been making eye contact for a few days now. I get flustered with myself…he gets me hot and bothered. Oh…he’s looking…look away. S**t he knows I’ve been staring. Smile and wave. Smile and wave…he smiled back, a small greeting smile. He looks always…I look at him again…I study his movements, he knows I’m watching but does nothing. I look away. I feel butterflies wind up in my stomach. What am I doing? These feelings should not be here, they need to leave. They are unwanted.

Think about something else…my school work…I think about my school work. Logging onto my account I pull up my project…I work on that…though I’m not fully Intune with it. Him, he’s looking at me. I glance quickly up at him, he looks away. I feel a blush creep up…I go to the bathroom. Think of the other. The one you need to be with. The one who isn’t here with you…he’s the one that should be here…not him…

I walk back to my desk, sign out of the computer and leave. I’m talking to the other, the one who I’m with…the one who lives far away. I feel so much love for him. I want to kiss him, hug him…but as I talk to him I think of the other one who is here with me…the one I get to see every day…I’m wrong, so wrong. I need to stop. I write about it, my feelings…then I go to bed…forgetting both of them, dreaming of something different. Good night…good night my loves…

 

~By Meghan Black Elk

© 2014 Angelove


Author's Note

Angelove
Love is a complicated thing...in the end, fate will place you with the one you need.

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Urgh, this makes me giggle at how many times i've been there.
But i don't think about things, i rush in, i like never knowing.
I like liking everyone, because they're all beautiful aren't they, and god knows what trouble you could get in eh?
Yeah i guess its a little different with love, im still honestly in love with someone from three years ago and sometimes ill dream and out of no where. BAM.
We're back together.
That doesn't mean the next day ill be a sop, ill probably go to the pub and flirt my a*s off.
Wake up next to handsome no.2.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Angelove

5 Years Ago

hahaha. I can relate.

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Added on September 18, 2014
Last Updated on September 21, 2014

Author

Angelove
Angelove

Manchester, MI



About
I have a passion for writing and I can't live without it. It helps me escape to different places when I'm upset. I also love to sing. So hope you like my writing! http://pl.st/p/23452736779 more..

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